reminder that if you take my assigned gender even slightly into consideration, you're transphobic, and i don't particularly care how this accusation makes you feel

it's not a condemnation of you as a person, but it's up to you to educate yourself and work out your biases, so you stop unwittingly hurting people like me

kiilas :dark_elf: :nb_crossbow:
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trans isn't a gender, and unless the person says so, should not be seen as part of their gender identity

if you perceive a gender difference between a trans man and a cis man, or a trans woman and a cis woman, or an AMAB enby and an AFAB enby, you're transphobic

ideally people should just stop assigning and assuming genders altogether, and encourage self-determination

(good) trans spaces do that, and that's why they're so awesome

it empowers everyone, even cis people

of course once you actually encourage self-determination and make people feel safe in exploring their identity, you'll find the lines between cis and trans blur

to accept yourself as trans you have to internalise that gender essentialism is invalid, to accept yourself as nonbinary you have to internalise that the binary is invalid etc

us trans/enby/etc folx are out of necessity already at the next levels of gender dialectics, but imagine what will happen when the society at large catches up

imagine you aren't brought up to be a man or a woman and you're just a person and you can do anything any gender can do, and you can modify your body to match

you can be a standard normative 2019 model of male or female if you want, just like what we would as of 2019 consider cis, but how many people would honestly choose that? because apparently 99%+ of people are cis?

hey look, i'm talking about trans shit from a way more positive angle than the usual "aberration from natural order" bullshit

i wonder how many people would still be cis if it stopped being the cool thing to do and if they had access to mods without gatekeeping

@kiilas So I've long had a pet theory that basically no one is actually 100% straight or gay and almost everyone is some mixture of bi/pan/ace but most don't acknowledge it because of homophobia, biphobia, and binarism.

I further think that the vast majority of cis people are actually non-binary and just don't feel enough conscious dysphoria to break out of the oppressive institution of gender. The modern gender binary is such a recent phenomenon that it just doesn't make sense that so many people adhere to it unless most of that adherence is culturally ingrained.

@ALWETP @kiilas I think it's important to be careful here and not use this to invalidate people's stated preferences and identities but..... yeah gender is fake and if gender is fake then sexuality is even more complicated

@it_wasnt_arson @kiilas Oh yeah, I don't mean to say that anyone's identities are invalid. I just don't believe that there are necessarily hard boundaries or categories anywhere. Everything is fluid, and I think the vast majority of people fall somewhere in the middles of the spectra rather than on the edges as cisheteronormarive society tries to tell us. For the most part, I think the majority of queer people understand where we fall and use our labels to describe that, and often those labels fall short (for example, I'm a lesbian trans woman, but I'm actually closer to a demi-girl leaning towards agender, and mostly attracted to non-binary people, but there's not really a word for those).

@ALWETP @kiilas Yeah, I figured, but there are cases of like "well what if you're actually bi" etc that do get applied to other people and it's important to emphasize self-identification to avoid that

@it_wasnt_arson @kiilas I guess the argument is that things are more complicated than our narrow terms and categories account for, and cisheteronormativity pushes a lot of people into identities they don't necessarily strongly identify with, but don't feel enough distress at them to question them. It's more based on the idea that wider society pushes people not to question the identities assigned to them, and so there are probably a lot of people who, in a vacuum, would be considered non-binary or various combinations of bi, pan, and ace than there are now, but stick with their assigned identities because it's what they know and doesn't inconvenience them.

@ALWETP @kiilas oh yeah i'm not disagreeing just saying like... it's worth clarifying to avoid enabling shitty people

cis musings, ph - Show more

cis musings, ph - Show more

@ALWETP i think i understand what you mean, but i just wanted to clarify i'm not for any pressuring or assumptions that people be non-binary or bi or whatever

binary cishet people are part of the diversity, i only wish they weren't the privileged default and everything else seen as aberration from that

ie i worry about invalidating binary trans folx, or straight trans folx, and forcing them to choose between the cishetnormative paradigm and the "everyone is bi enby" paradigm, which isn't great

@kiilas Oh, no, so many people are telling me I'm verging on homophobia, and that's not my intent. It's more about my thought that if we had a society that didn't forcibly put people in boxes, a lot more people would fall into grey areas, as gender and sexuality are way more complicated than anyone really fully wants to acknowledge.

I feel like, given that trans peoples' sexualities tend to break down much more "evenly", a lot of the "queer people only make up 5-10% of the population" is down to a lot of cishet people never having the opportunity to question their position within the institution of gender. I hope that clarified well. I didn't intend to imply anyone's invalid, this is all more on a sociological level.

@ALWETP no i understood what you meant, and i feel others did too, i think the only issues were that the argumentation invalidates people who are happy being 100% whatever

fe we don't want to tell a binary trans woman who fought hard for her identity because of how horrible society is, that she wouldn't be a 100% trans woman if the society wasn't so horrible

i'm also 100% ace and that's fine too

i think that people's identities are more important and more worthy of defense than theories

@kiilas I'm not sure people are getting what I'm saying, or if they are, they're attributing the least charitable possible interpretation of what I'm saying. I'm saying that hegemonic society sees gender and sexuality as discrete boxes, and those boxes constrain people a lot. The thing is, they aren't discrete boxes, but a spectrum, and every individual will have a totally different location on that spectrum, and the way that society makes cishet people conform pushes them out to the end of the spectrum when their actual identity is likely somewhere in the middle.

So yes, individual identities are absolutely worth defending, and we should examine the societal pressures that prevent people from living those identities.

@kiilas this really puts the trans in transhumanism and i love it

one of my favourite parts of trans spaces is seeing the diversity of people - "gender conforming" binary people, "nonconforming" binary people, and enbies of all flavours, all accepting each others' identities

blatant transphobia, facebook, maybe don't read tbh, swearing Show more

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