nonbinary 

I just saw in my recommended videos: "How to know if you're Non Binary"

It's made by a nonbinary person and ofc their experience is valid.

But my brain is in overdrive trying to answer that question myself, or even to understand the question.

I don't know how to meaningfully describe how I know if I'm nonbinary. "Gender doesn't make sense to me and it's simpler if I don't attribute it to myself" feels like a cop-out because it's an appeal to parsimony.

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re: nonbinary 

Some people say "I don't feel male or female", but I don't even understand what it means to "feel male/female". I have even asked (when I was first exploring gender in my late teens) and no one could give me a satisfactory answer. Is there some gender->feeling synaesthesia I'm not privy to?

I could understand genders as roles or performances or styles or aesthetics, but that interpretation is problematic, and especially with some nonbinary identities doesn't simplify anything.

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