No-AI TTS question 

I have an urge to make how-to and let's-explore videos, but the 2019 flu made it too painful to talk for long enough to narrate anything. That means my only options are either captions over voiceless videos or using a text-to-speech (TTS) program to read text I write.

What are my slop-free options for TTS programs and feminine voices folks would be willing to listen to?

I prefer a FreeBSD program, but one for Linux, Windows 7, or an easy to emulate older OS can work as well.

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