Kristian Collie @KristianCollie@computerfairi.es

I think my mom has mistaken me telling her my company was giving me more responsibilities with my company also paying me more for those responsibilities.

If he thinks I got a promotion, he probably heard it from my mom, which means my mom probably also thinks I got a promotion.

My brother texted me to congratulate me on a promotion I didn't get and I cannot think of a non-awkward way to tell him.

Every time I see a snail my first instinct is to grow unusually attached to them and worry for their safety.

Best case scenario, I decide to use "I shouldn't eat a whole loaf cake by myself" as an excuse to visit a friend this weekend.

You already know the worst case scenario.

I thought I had enough self control to not buy all the ingredients for a lemon loaf cake, but lo and behold I did not.

@chest_bot open chest

Post Malone implies the existence of a Malone and suggests the existence of a Proto Malone.

AaaAAAA I bought tickets! I'm seeing Guerilla Toss in a month!

*VIBRATING*

https://computerfairi.es/media/PFI7vFqb2LJgwd0QQrw

Goths are just mimes with synthesizers.

If you want a suggestion from me, there's this:

https://youtu.be/TE7YAE8zENw

I've got a lot of noisy shouty music and glum mopey music, send me your upbeat feel good music. Send me the song that makes you happiest.

I've still got 14 pieces of bubblegum, sorry for the wait, but if I double down I should be able to kick ass in time for us beat rush hour, I appreciate your patience. Remember please DO NOT kick my ass for now.

I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, so everyone hang tight and nobody kick my ass until I'm done chewing all this bubblegum, thank you.

Send me your sad gay music.

I'm sad and gay

I'm so frustrated that one of the aspects of leaving Twitter for my mental health is that I lose my main facet for staying in touch with most of the people I care about. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

I swear to God, Pile is a damn near perfect band.

https://youtu.be/ZUW1-ZVD4do

https://computerfairi.es/media/NiFGQyD9lZ11VDHxfJU