Penny!!! @PennyPennyPenny@computerfairi.es

life is big and scary

@PennyPennyPenny don't like it, honestly

Between a furcon last week and some fursuiting around town over the weekend and such, I've been super social and out n about lately, interacting with people in positive ways. But at the same time I feel incredibly lonesome and lost and more disconnected from folks I care about than ever.

Save your files!

for dessert!

Be nice to giant robots

Give them bellyrubs

many things on our minds

Interstellar travel via the used car lot

@PennyPennyPenny nope, there it is! This is the summation of the whole aesthetic thing I'm trying to explain! This car, in this state, as a core visual keystone for the space travel technology of a scifi universe

@PennyPennyPenny Mismatched colours, faded armor panels, chips and dents and dings, misaligned body panels and wonky fixtures, but all tied back into something that was at one point clearly the product of industrial design. I like that visual idea. Maybe not sleek and slick, but functional & neat beneath the grime, cosmic dust, and micro-asteroid dings

@PennyPennyPenny Gritty, grungy spacefuture, but as degraded elegance in a way. Initial care and design that's fallen into disrepair, rather than a jumble from the get-go. Less ragtag hightech mishmash and more "just make it work, there's no new parts on the edge of the galaxy", in the same way a mid-high spec everyday car might be repaired with junkyard parts as it's become old and outdated over 20 years

@PennyPennyPenny Like, I really like the way there's visual complexity added without making designs super cluttered. Not huge on the way some aesthetics go wholly in on "random complexity means future". Mechanical noise works when the whole universe is complete chaos (WH40K), but less so on its own.

@PennyPennyPenny Like, this is prime scifi aesthetic material. Mundane but weird, distinctly computer aided but still mechanical, and utilitarian in often roundabout and somewhat impractical ways.

Spaceships and scifi aesthetic inspired by beater sedans from the early 90's. Not sure how to visually showcase, but it sounds cool.

[unsure modem noise]

@PennyPennyPenny Cis, but I'm more comfortable and much happier with they/them. Comfortable with what my body is and w/some aspects of "typical" gender, but loathe a lot else. Really mega ace, but also feel bad about it and wishing I could feel the emotion & connection & desire that non-asexual people can at times, wondering a lot what that's like. This isn't really at all about OC stuff anymore I guess, just rambling and confused and letting stuff out heck

@PennyPennyPenny Anyway, like, Penny are helpful and led me to getting closer to coming to terms with and figuring out, like, myself. Still a long ways away ans can't nail it all down exactly, but I've at least gotten closer and close & comfortable enough to use some mainstream terms that folks understand. Close enough is good enough and removes so much confusion and headache and awkwardness that I've kinda settled.

@PennyPennyPenny "Yes but what if deeply unsettling terror was actually super cute and also had the potential to be an outlet for both sexuality you can't quite parse as well as kinks you can't quite grapple with and rationalize. But also you just want cute stuff and dumb computer jokes sometimes. And kitties!

I need to focus on more worldbuilding with Penny. Haven't done any since I made a spinoff OC, Penelope, a while ago. hecky

Penny are 1 part GIR, 1 part gray goo, 1 part 2006 internet advertising culture, many parts a swirling, discordant miasma of kinks and confused horny mixed with existential dread, and also 10 parts lolcats.

Yaya

Larger Than Life by The Backstreet Boys is still a good song