Penny!!! @PennyPennyPenny@computerfairi.es

Small nya, but many of them

Not sure which fursona to commission riding my motorcycle first

Penny are fluent in every dialect of lolcat

Infinite cats for infinite cuddles!

It's nice now and then though. The pressure and ring and roar of silence, all fake, fading in and out with the emergence of even the smallest sound.

Just sitting in silence and letting your ears ring with that oscillating droning tone of empty used to scare me so much. The sound the brain creates to fill the absence with -SOMETHING- because maybe a human mind can't tolerate or understand -NOTHING-. Nature hates a vacuum.

In happier news my motorcycle is not getting named, instead I'm making it a fursona! An opossum named Frank. It fits well I think!

On the other hand I answered a phonecall asking for me by saying "this is they" not "this is he" and that felt a little empowering.

I don't know how I feel I don't know how I'm supposed to feel and I don't know what to do

I don't want to come out to them as non-binary. I don't fear rejection or scorn, I'm lucky enough to have family that would be accepting regardless, but I am not ready for that bridge. I may never be.

I don't want to talk about not talking or how I'm feeling or that I'm not ok because nobody's ok nobody's fine anywhere right now.

Parents called again. I legitimately didn't hear my phone buzz instead of ignoring the call like I have been for the past...8 months. She sounded really sad. Worried. I don't know how much longer I can keep not talking and I still don't know why I can't bring myself to. Maybe there's a lot to say, maybe there's nothing to say, I just don't know don't know don't know don't know don't know don't know

So this happened!

Penny is mostly just Sbemail #118

Please cuddle all of the cats

Cats are tired

Just... tired

Look at this boy

BIG BOYS SOON