74 @asahi@computerfairi.es

if my nightmares are just straight up memories and the actual awful things happening to me right now what does that even make them

im gay

i haven't been posting my cooking here in general for a while! i should do it again

cooking is really enjoyable and calming for me

it's the first time i bake a thing so i'm excited!

@MiseryMyra taught me to make cornbread! 🌽 🍞

im gay!

im gay

revue starlight is so good and gay???

@MiseryMyra *shows me a polybius shmup*
me: "ah yes, the polybian urban legend

touhou"

im gay

i wish my nightmares weren't real

that they were surreal spooky scary stuff instead of just extensions of the nightmare world
or worse, memories

the least realistic part of my nightmares today was the lecturing on time travel research, not the supremacist teacher spicing it with nazi indoctrination or the ultraabusive system

one breathes in and it's toxic smog, in body and mind
the constant hammering on every background sentence, the wearing down being a breather from the punches, the indoctrination nightmare and its punishment
when you look away and yet more is set especifically to take advantage of the corrosion cracks
everything is set up as an hyperabusive inescapable brainwasing cult

nightmares don't stop and i'm sick of it
and are getting to me because they are real
the reality of fascism in every corner, of abuse and control lining up the walls

experience is poison finally corroding, and sight is madness

im scared

i cannot stay in this house
i dont hv any means to care o myself
what are my options for running away
i liv in spain, madrid
i do not have money nor idenificattion
i dont know what to do

be gay do crimes