74 @asahi@computerfairi.es

shoutouts to this pc98 indie game's hand drawn box art being considerably relatable

nobody knows anything

because they isolate me from everything control at a level i can barely explain to people who do not know
not even they know anything they believe they are good

nobdoy i ever reached believed anyting only them

please help me escape my family

i was dissociating and panicking badly and really not okay
so i drew something with the doodling tool in here to calm down
i don't know

i never expected cooking to be something i enjoyed and to find it calming, huh

it's tiring

i need community

the network of privileged clueless people

always worse by techbros no matter what

how allistic people can be so cluelessly fucked up, how non-mentally ill, abled people ~help~ so inmensely ignorant, condescending, utterly viciously harmful in ways so horrible that only we have any idea about

feeling the need for trans disabled autistic mentally ill community

dysphoria

growing up in an abusive family means that often casual conversation constantly reminds you of awful arbitrary things your family did that were pretty messed up

sometimes in retrospect, sometimes you realize then, sometimes you know but don't really want to think about it nor remember...

and you don't want to mention it because of not wanting to interrupt with awful stuff nor constantly think much of it...

... i want to return to being myself...

a sense of spirituality from astronomy. truly eldritch cosmic powers. a beauty in the physical universal forces, evocation of indescriptible things

the sense of a nature so inmense and beyond

like a spiritual being
like a fairy or a deity

time is an awful thing

anyways back to unlivable executive dysfunction and anxiety

it isn't very good, i didn't filter it nor anything which was kind of a mistake it probably would've been better to separate it from the pulp, but it's not bad