thunderstorm crackle dream @hungrychangeling@computerfairi.es

everytime a depressed housemate moves out they are like "i have failed you by being sad and boring when you are all so great" and i get to feel "no i am also sad and boring to my brain don't worry ok goodbye forever"

all my ideas to make more involve there not being a pandemic

also when i was going to circus classes that didn't lead to any friendships so maybe the queer skateboarding meetup also wouldn't pan out lol

how in the whole world do i make the kinds of friends who invite me to do things regularly as an adult
and not just be an occasional friend???
question of my entire life living in this goddamn city lol

this brought to you by seeing a lot of my friends here regularly hanging out at the backyard like a block a way for me but never having been invited and really onlyhanging out when i initate

crying on the bus when Wingnut Dishwasher's Union comes on the playlist

& getting off in the living room

the marco polo video app is just like 'hey these are people you know who are already on this app maybe you want to talk to them?' and i am like yes but also what if..the fact that they are on the app is a secret and it will make them mad

how do i block the internet from showing me reposts of different people having the same misunderstanding of the TOS of *insert social media or internet platform here* over and over and over gain as has been having my whole life

so..
he left liquid vessels around his laptop & one of the animals knocks a cup over while noone is downstairs, the laptop is now wet
&
he gets upset @ the pet parents
& sobs, breaks things in his room, which can be heard thru the house
&
he then deletes all his ig posts, clears his profile pic, changes his name to be abt death, rewrites his bio to say he struggles 2 not kill everyone around him everyday
&
then sends a message to the group saying he has secretly hated all of us

vry grateful for spaces that honor sexuality in its many messy complex forms <3

Since it's become summer I have a crush on labyrinths now

pour one out for the Typist, she who fills the pages, ghost that animates and remembers

thank the Typist for the record of the words; the ability to spin our narrative

the same key documents at my work are saved in soooo many different places
and it is distressing

dancing in a tutu by the bbq to carly rae while the kids next door wave bye and hi over and over again 🥰 that summer night feel!

listening to cops talk about drones and it is exhausting
(at thia civil liberties day conference on policing data)
(also theu have talked about black mirror and the dark web soo much) (lol?)

sleepy and crying yesterday because people find me good and then a friend is like also you just are good
aaaaa

there is a person taking up overwhelming space at this conference and also having a profound experience it seems like
and
it is very difficult
like derailing the panelists persistently