lian @slooploon@computerfairi.es

so for now i'm good. it's not dangerous or anything, and it's possible that the cyst just burst and is disappearing now.

lol today is full of excitement. i almost went to the hospital because i had unberable pain, like so much pain i could barely speak, even after 2000 mg ibuprofen.
went to the gynecologist. have a big cyst. doctor said, go to the hospital.

i was going to.

but then, the pain disappeared

i don't want to go outside today my hands hurt so much already and everything is pain 😞

but, i have to let people stick needles in my arm. and for some reason, either those people are exceptionally inept at poking veins OR my veins just randomly hate the people or location, but it will be a LOT of poking just to get some blood.

i used to be so scared of falling over backwards in my chair, but now this has happened twice in 2 weeks and it's really not so bad. it's more like, ah, hello knees, yes come give me a kiss, okay let's get out of this thing

some random person tripped over me. i mean i was sitting in my wheelchair and they were coming straight at me and just... kept walking, tipping me over and landing on top of me.

now i have a swollen ankle.

that was a weird experience.

somewhere on the top 10 of things that bother me most is people who know nothing about my illnesses or my person giving me advice on how to handle symptoms.

"try this medication!"
no it doesn't work and also i'm allergic

"try this sport!"
no i have chronic pain and also my current nutrition means i can't really do sports

"try this easy remedy!"
no i'm autistic and also too disabled to do that and i hate it

"try-"
just shut up please

with daily entries, most of my entries are just remixes of unfinished tasks from the days before, it's tedious and useless

i think i will change my bulletjournal system from daily entries to a weekly entry with optional additional entries for busy days

i had to leave early, i just hope the people stopped being so annoying, but when i left he was doing sorta ok again so i think it might be ok

today was stressful. a friend had a public meltdown and there were all the people treating him incorrectly and i am just annoyed by people in general :/

for now i'll just go back to bed. being awake is overrated.

i feel so hopeless. will i ever get an apartment in which i can actually move around? who knows.

i hyperfocussed on a book. it's a good book and i almost finished it in only 1 day (yay me) but it's also triggering as hell and i feel like it was a huge mistake, especially with the hyperfocus, because now i can't get my thoughts off it

one of these days i'll just chop off my hands above the wrist, i'm in so much pain

my wrists are killing meeee

i'm 1 step closer to getting a new wheelchair. still got a lot of hassle ahead of me, but i have hope

i don't think i actually need the thing that is gone. today i've got more of a grip on things.