Did my second dilation, had a teeny bit of blood but I’m not worried about it. Now I’m outside sitting in the garden of the recovery b&b and I feel so accomplished and peaceful c:

ughhhhhh I’m so constipated

I hate prune juice aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Having trouble getting my last inch of my dilator in and I’m freaking out a little h

Well. I have a call with the physicians assistant soon and I guess I’ll ask about what to do. Big nervous

On my way home now!

positive doemen

So I got a bidet for my apartment and I highly highly recommend it, this is very convenient (especially since it goes /everywhere/ when I pee from the swelling)

Also nice for cleaning up after dilating

I cant tell if I’m constipated? I think I am but it might also be just discomfort from dilating? But also I haven’t pooped in like two days, but also I haven’t eaten a whole lot? And like I can still pass gas so who knows?? I might just take a suppository tonight if I’m still having issues

Had a really positive, successful dilation session c:

So while I’m dilating 3x a day I’ve been doing it at 9, 3, and 9, and that seems to be working pretty well and it’s easy to remember

When I go up to 5x a day I’m planning to do 9, 12, 3, 6, and 9

Hurts less now to cough and sneeze and laugh!! I don’t feel like I’m gonna launch my clit across the room from the effort

guess who’s got two hooves and is now able to maintain a urine stream without it going everywhere 😎

Worried about depth again, I can’t get to the dot on my dilator that I’ve been able to reach consistently and I’m panicking a little

I’m feeling like, scared /of/ my vagina a lot of the time lately, today especially, and I’ve been exploring myself and it’s been helping but like, the foreign sensations and pain from sources I’m not used to inside of my body is frightening

And then I’m also scared /for/ it, since I’m having trouble getting to depth and my brainweird makes it hard for me to ask for help until I’m in a crisis

I guess I just have anxiety?? Wild

Also if I didn’t mention before dilating has started to hurt

I’ve been taking a dose of Tylenol before I dilate generally, but i might try Vicodin? Could be worth it to try to push past that graft ring

So! I managed to dilate to depth, and I have some tips I took away from the session

1: if you have a thick ass or a cushy seat, lift your tailbone off the seat once the dilator is past your pelvic bone to widen your vaginal canal a little (probably don’t do it before, I imagine the tension in your thighs would make it hard to get that first few inches in)
2: you want your legs close together and relaxed, not spread wide and relaxed
3: a pillow behind th back is great for angles

Moved up a dilator size!! How exciting c:

And not as bad a stretch as I expected! It went pretty smoothly. My vag is swollen as hell today tho

wow, just started my second session and it’s way easier but I’m soooooo swollen

Lotta body pain today, it’s really similar to when you have like a cold or something but it’s just the pains

Number one dilator is starting to feel downright /good/

I had expected things to get more difficult when I went up to dilating 5x/day but honestly the regular schedule is great for my brain and I don’t think my recovery has ever been smoother, also I’m looser so it’s way easier

My surgical incisions are healing super well, they’re like totally flush with the surrounding flesh

Urgggg I projectile vomited this morning and I’ve been nauseous all day so far

Been drinking a lot of water, whenever I try to eat food I get a cramp

lotta labia pains this morning fsr, bunch of pinching along the outer edges. Thinking I might have spread my legs in my sleep or something

Dry herb helps a lot with dilating to depth — oil not so much fsr

It’s probably actually the slow breathing tbh

Moved up to dilator 3 today! Dilating with 1 and 2 is a breeze at this point, #2 being my favorite cos it feels so comfy and filling but not as much of a crazy stretch as 3

God 3 is like a fucking battering ram

gonna try to start incorporating some very light yoga (I’m thinking 20ish minutes in the morning and evening) and possibly some light beat saber into my routine to start getting my body strength and muscle tone back up

Holy fuck yoga felt soooo good after laying around with minimal movement for like 3 and a half weeks

Glad to report my beat saber skills haven’t gone down in the time I’ve been stuck in bed. Also cardio feels great !!

My heart rate is way higher than it usually is at this level of exertion tho, probably could scale back some

Interesting observation: i had some nerve location mismatches early on (like touching my labia still feeling like touching the sides of my shaft) which have mostly adjusted to the new topography, but my clit has always just felt like my clit? Never really felt like touching my glans, just a really sensitive nub that feels like it’s where it ought to be