Baby sleep and mother in law ranting
Feeling pretty vindicated by the fact that the baby's sleep has become more stable after I did all the work to get fix the overtiredness and help him get to sleep independently.
Mother in law was going on about how he's just "special" and "different" and doesn't need all the sleep the experts said, and overtiredness isn't a thing and he's just "difficult" (which she's so proud of). Acting like I'm nuts.
I knew what was going on. I'm not crazy.
Baby sleep and mother in law ranting
Every time I'd point out that he was sleeping badly because he was overtired and had a massive sleep debt, she'd purse her lips and look at me like I was growing a second head.
Every time I'd mention that he needs routine and she just can't disrupt it and do whatever she wants, she'd act like I was having some kind of anxiety delusion.
But now he is finally starting to have longer naps and sleep through the night better.
Baby sleep and mother in law ranting
I keep asking myself why it matters to me what she thinks. Why I need her validation on this so badly.
Part of it is just that I hate feeling judged like I'm just some kind of high strung weirdo all panicked about sleep problems that don't exist.
But also… if she doesn't take this stuff seriously, and she wants to babysit for me… is she really someone I can TRUST??
Baby sleep and mother in law ranting
I don't think she realises that every time she acts like I'm mental she erodes my ability to trust her.
Baby sleep and mother in law ranting
Like, the judgement hurts, but on a practical level, I need someone I can trust to babysit. She desperately wants to be our babysitter.
But I need to know that she won't just keep him up "because he wants to spend time with us" and "I'm wearing him out so he sleeps better".
I need to know that if I trust her to take care of him, I won't have three days of sleep catchup work to do afterwards. Or I won't have to re-train him to sleep independently.