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Help I'm having thoughts and I don't want to have them
I don't want them to tear me apart again
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I'm fine guys I'm just
Kind of
Well I'm not fine but I'm not super down like I usually am
HRT, -
This whole fucking thing with HRT is just so fucking depressing and I think about it every goddamn day
Yet I'm denied it because I "need to get a grip on my depression first" even though the main cause in the first place is the lack of HRT
HRT, -
I'm not stupid, I know what it can do, I've researched it extensively
It's not anyone else's decision to fucking make
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
*offers hug*
Doctors always think they know best, always in spite of their patients.
Sure, when it comes to physical health, they probably do.
But mental health? Very few of them know anything... Assholes, the lot.
HRT, -
@Terxbor
This isn't about doctors
It's about my mother
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
Ah. Well. That's something different... I have to ask, then: how does your mother prevent you from getting treatment?
HRT, -
@Terxbor
As I mentioned
She says I "need to get my depression and anxiety in check first"
Which is not how it fucking works
HRT, -
@Terxbor
Mind you I'm disabled and can't handle these things myself
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
So she has the ACTUAL ability to prevent you from getting the treatment?
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
Ok... that really fucking sucks. I know the clueless parent(s) bit rather well... but having a real ability to affect your life directly is less familiar to me.
And I assume you told her that not getting HRT is the direct cause of your depression?
HRT, -
@Terxbor
Yes
And she's not said fucking anything since
Which is typical of her to just ignore me when I bring up valid points
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
Oh god... she sounds Filipino. (That is, like my mom, and her sisters, and pretty much all of my Filipino friends' mothers.)
Keep bringing it up. Don't ever let up. You have to pick and choose your battles with your mom, I'm guessing. Pick this one. Definitely pick this one.
HRT, -
@Terxbor
Not Filipino
Just kind of a cunt
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
Heh. She'd fit right in though.
I don't think your situation is hopeless, by the way. Just keep trying new tactics. But still never let up.
Has she tried to get you to go to therapy or a psychiatrist yet?
HRT, -
@Terxbor
Yes and it made things worse
Talking to people I don't know about my deeply personal issues makes me anxious and upset
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
I know it'll be difficult, but I suggest going to the psychiatrist again.
But first, get what you need to say down on paper and take it in with you. (Typing it down and printing that is fine; it's what I'd do, personally.)
The less you have to say with speech while you're there, the less stressful it will be.
What's wrong, why it's wrong. Most importantly, why HRT will help with a lot of it.
Oh, make copies and secure them in case your mom decides to destroy them.
HRT, -
@Terxbor
No I appreciate the advice
But really therapy doesn't work for everyone
It certainly doesn't with for me
I've tried three separate times and I just... Can't
It's not for me
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
I'm not thinking about this with the mindset of getting therapy working. I specifically said psychiatrist: the mental health doctor that prescribes medications.
If you can convince him that HRT will help your depression, your mother may be more likely to go along with it.
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
Believe me, I know therapy doesn't work for everybody. For me, I personally feel that I need to get out of my current life situation (living with parents/brother, no job, no prospects) and stay out for a while before therapy can start to work.
HRT, -
@Terxbor
Kind of the same for me except I know I'll never be employed (again disabled)
For me it's the HRT thing which brings me back to the main point
HRT, -
@Terxbor
She's not malicious, she just thinks she knows everything
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
Ok, then, in case YOU destroy it in depression or fear or frustration.
HRT, -
@SilviaFox
By the way, if any advice I give sounds, with logical thought (not emotional thought), like it's a bad idea, maybe it is. (After all, I'm not all well in the mind either.)