i hate the notion that if someone doesn't say much the few things they say must be important!!!!!

no, that's not how it works at all, it's innocuous small irrelevant pointless things what get out more easily because there are less thougts and feelings attached to them

the idea of otherwise just makes even talking about small pointless things difficult becauuse of fearing it gets seen as "oh this is important this is absolutely all the things the person who doesn't talk wants to say"