hey how do i stop feeling so tired that it feels like my body is going to fall to pieces, anyone got a tutorial?
i breath in too deep or stand up too fast or move my arms too much or close my eyes for too long and i feel lightheaded, i can't walk too fast or put too much weight on one leg because my knees might buckle, i feel like a collection of faulty spare parts that was put together to get something out the door and i resent that i can't be out there running and swimming and doing something with my life
i used to love badminton, i loved to swim every chance i got, i loved to hike 10 kilometers and photograph everything cool i saw, now i can count on my fingers the times in the last 3 months i was outside for more than 5 minutes
i'm terrified of the ocean but i still worked so hard to learn how to steer a sailboat, i worked so hard to get better at so many things and then my body broke in a way that isn't my fault and i feel useless
personally i think i deserve a medal for not being the crankiest, most unpleasant person to be around that anyone has ever known, i think it's worth appreciating how hard i try