i am almost drinking. i can feel it. i am almost doing it
there's not drinking, not even thinking about it. and there's drinking, you know, doing it. but there is this absolutely dreadful place between where every part of you is screaming to get wasted, and it is unbearable. it is worse than being drunk
in a way, what is keeping me from doing it is how i can't help but shake the idea i deserve to feel this terrible, in the same way i am on some level convinced it's my fault my family want nothing to do with me today
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@katarzyna
I hope you find some solace from these feelings.
