Estrangement, sarcasm, triggers, fixating
Gee whiz I love when my brain decided to start fixating on my estrangement from my folks. Love it so much. Ugh
Estrangement, triggers, fixating
Saw an imposing Chrysler vehicle that looks like what my father would drive. Had to calm myself down from the absurd thought that he could track me down and come to my workplace. It's completely implausible. But my brain persists.
Estrangement, triggers, fixating
The only mutual connection we have is my brother, who is sworn to secrecy, lest he lose me too.
Sometimes I feel like running off and moving away and changing my name and my face to be free of this fear.
Estrangement, triggers, fixating, paranoia
How do I know he's not using my brothers computer to check on me? My brother doesn't seem like the kind of person to hide passwords or even lock his computer. When I lived at home my father knew all my passwords. What if he's been keeping tabs on me and I didn't know
Estrangement, triggers, fixating, paranoia
I know I'm being paranoid. I sometimes wish I could just cut off my brother. He's the only family I have left and I want him to get away from them. He won't listen. He says they're not so bad and everyone keeps to themselves but I can see the poison seeping out of his mouth with every word spoken. The dark clouds that loom over him.
Estrangement, triggers, fixating, paranoia, nausea
I feel sick. Considering going home but I know this is just in my head. I need to focus on something else.