The Thot has Begone @RowanBerry@computerfairi.es

*whispers "get those dubs" in your ear while tapping a sponge*

Fall Guys Hypnosis ASMR — You are a big soft jellybean (personal attention, soft spoken)

Job search is hell

Witch Tips #37: Probability and intent are your friends. Tarot cards aren't magic— but you can make magic with them, with a bit of elbow grease...

Witch Tips #36: You, however, *are* inherently magical.

Witch Tips #35: Most things are not inherently magical.

Witch Tips #34: The bramble will entwine itself around you and within you. Do not be afraid.

*vibrates with the force of a thousand suns* yeah I stim what of it

Well, anyway, I love K2C. I also love the Dead Lands campaign, definitely my favorite so far. I'm just a little confused about what the devs are prioritizing— and hesitant at the thought of another polishing update being sold as yet another goddamn full price Kingdom game

Idk, it just feels weird to me that stuff like the victory plaque and the coat of arms are all directly taken from Kingdom: New Lands, to the point where it doesn't even make sense anymore— you get the big crown from beating the fourth island, and then the skulls from the fifth, but in New Lands you got the skulls from the skull island???—but after no updates for like a year the devs shot out the gate with "hey we made a crossover skin for the game!!"

But Kingdom: Two Crowns is still weirdly... Unfinished? Once you unlock the ability to clear islands you just go down the list, and after the fifth island the credits roll. There's no mechanical difference between the "finale" of each island. No final boss, not even a "you beat the whole game!" message. It just unceremoniously ends.

So each game is this weird snapshot of game development. The first game has no endgame goal and relies on arcade mechanics, the second game has multiple areas that elaborate on that concept, and the third game ties them all together into a single cohesive campaign setting.

Kingdom is a really weird series, because it started out as a popcorn-snack-sized tower defense game that then grew to become a proper old-school campaign game... But each step towards that final product is its *own separate game*

It is done.

...and now to play Dead Lands!

Time to google "how to rip apart my own gums so that I can chew food without crying"

God dammit I just want a "push tooth through gum" button. I don't care how much it hurts. This little shit of a wisdom tooth has been ever so slowly pushing the gums near my molars around for MONTHS. I just want it to stop

Witch Tips #33: No seriously there was a coven I saw on a forum that claimed only Irish people could perform real witchcraft— specifically, you had to be ethnically Irish, be born in Ireland, and live in Ireland for the grand majority of your life. If you somehow managed to fail these requirements (/s) then you could still join, given that you acknowledge that your witchcraft will always be inferior to "real Irish witches."

It was really fuckin weird.

Witch Tips #32: If somebody peddles their method as "the only REAL way to practice witchcraft" they should be avoided at all costs