Luna 🌑 Lapin 🐰 @Shadejackrabbit@computerfairi.es

*shuffling joke cards* I'll be here all night folks

Punch Up the Jam is possibly my favorite podcast right now and it's got such a great backlog god damn. Makes me choke with laughter so often

at the age of twenty-six i have discovered how easy apple crumble is to make, and it is a dangerous knowledge

Love to not sleep because my landlord has been sitting on an attic squirrel invasion for 3 months and now the bedroom smells like rodent piss

Bologna is just hotdog pancakes

Liking my new lipstick a lot, matches my fading hair really well

I'm feeling pretty fucking worn out. Spent most of the weekend cleaning. Now my brain is focused on a spiraling sense of dread. I tried really hard to be creative tonight but i fizzled out almost immediately.

Nothing is [i] intensely [/i] bad. I'm not, like, panicked or even particularly depressed. I'm just, deeply tired.

Waiting for my wife to finally disown me as i ask her for the 40th time today whether she has heard about "video games"

i leave for two hours and that many wolves enter all of you what's up

real talk i have never opened a fortune cookie and not felt immediately personally attacked

horny for consent

defining a horniness spectrum of coin-trick characters that goes from "nuh-uh" Drifter from Destiny to "yes please" Connor from Detroit: BH

Connor: i like dogs!

Me: you need to s t o p...

The only thing that makes me madder than Detroit BH's awful writing is how hot and bothered twink Android cop makes me

Ready to rock and ready to roll