I want to pick up music again. And learn to draw. And get fit. And become a really good programmer.

And today I feel really motivated and energetic and I feel like I can start all that.

But at the same time I know it won’t happen. I’ll fall on my face as soon as a start. Or I’ll run out of steam after a couple days. Or I’ll fuck up once and give up because I’m not perfect.

I’ve been caught up in this loop for too long now. It feels like I’m destined to fail.