Thyme @Thyme@computerfairi.es

I also ended up learning more about real history, you know not the blatant propaganda I got taught in high school.

That made me, finally, actually want to learn about Marxism. And I discovered that I had been approaching it as a resolution to my intellectual discontent with my "native" liberalism anyway, e.g. as someone trained in biology I was approaching a "dialectical materialist" understanding of biological phenomenon, embracing complexity and change.

(cont.)

What happened in the over a year since I stopped interacting?

Not much, truth be told. Most of the year was spent cowering in anxiety.

Personal feelings crystallized in a more complete way after overcoming years of repression and so I'm comfortable just calling myself a non-binary lizard now, which was always the obvious truth anyway.

I moved in with a close friend who I love very much and I'm much happier because of that, closer to family now also.

I decided to finally try and interact on Mastodon again.

I gave up because I gave into anxiety, although I still kept an eye on it from time to time.

We'll see how it goes, I have lower expectations on myself now so I might not be that active. Social media still makes me dreadfully anxious for whatever reason.

@packbat

I got put through a lot of experiments with 'free-form' learning as a child, and my lasting impression was that naive inexperienced teachers trying to jam that style onto us without addressing deeper issues made it a complete failure. On reflection, I needed motivation, confidence in myself, confidence in my teachers, and above all an environment/culture that hadn't twisted learning into this undesirable chore.

@packbat

If you think it's worth it, then I trust your judgement (and your followers); as shy about it as I may be.

@esunabun I know similar feelings all too well: I also have an annoyingly high libido despite being almost entirely asexual. Just know that having a libido is not the same as experiencing specific sexual attraction; nor is having arousal in response to things previously associated with orgasms the same as sexual attraction.

Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more personally about ace-related stuff.

Sleeping is always a struggle between laying on my back for good posture and curling up into a ball for comfort.

Our chickens are spending the night in their intended enclosure for the first time, and they have decided to perch themselves together atop the ~2 metre high barrier surrounding it. It's both impressive and adorable.