pink haired hobbit @UnrealRonen@computerfairi.es

#trans reflection time

I’ve been copying my photos from Google onto a zip drive, just so they exist on something that is actually in my possession. As a result I’ve been reliving a lot of memories… & seeing photos from before my top surgery. I was a little worried that on seeing them I would miss the way my chest used to look or have feelings of regret.

Happy to report that hasn’t been the case though. My reaction has mostly been either “oh, weird” or “aw, look, past me was doing their best.”

Like I tried for almost a full ten minutes to not respond with snark when a coworker reported a client’s “frustration” with the lack of an article about this “simple” process, but I gave up when my own frustration was too big to swallow. That’s where we are these days.

I’m finding it harder to be diplomatic at work lately. On the one hand it makes me feel like an asshole, on the other I am so so tired of people assuming the work I do is simple.

“Why doesn’t a help article exist yet for this very specific process?” is the instructional copywriter’s version of “how hard could it be to change a single line of code?” It doesn’t work like that and I’m sick of people thinking it does.

“I can’t support your medical transition because you’re changing your ✨beautiful body✨” will always be horseshit because it places the value that other people might see in your body over you feeling comfortable living in it.

Being #trans often means finding out that some people in your life believe you don’t have a right to your own physical form. Your body belongs to your parents, your potential lovers, to anyone else before it belongs to you.

Continuing to embrace #kink in 2023

Well, maybe not hilarious.
But me and the six other people in the theater were like, “Heh”

I waited long enough to go see “The Menu” that it was barely in theaters anymore, but MLK Day turned out to be a hilariously appropriate day for it.

Dressed as a dark elf sorcerex for a Twelfth Night party last weekend and felt very good about it!

#cosplay #oc #nonbinary

I’ve been remembering my dreams regularly for the first time in a while. Most of them aren’t anything too exciting, but I know writing them down helps them stick and makes it more likely I’ll keep remembering. I’ve accepted that most are going to read as pretty mundane.

This #dream though makes me sound like a disgruntled boomer writing a yelp review, which is a whole other level of mundane

(Part 4)

Gaze until the timer runs out.

Bow to acknowledge the orb.

Write down what you saw in the orb. Do not write down anything you saw on the surface.

Let the candle to your god burn all the way down.

(Fin.)

(Part 3)

If your form within the reflection turns deep black and faceless, maintain your focus. You are successfully gazing past the surface to the center of the orb. If you see colors or shapes moving in the darkness, make note of what they are.

If you see something moving in the reflection itself, remember it is only on the surface.

If you feel disoriented, return to awareness of your body, breath, and energy field. After a few mindful breaths, you may return to gazing.

(Part 2)

No matter how much light you have eliminated from the room, you will see some reflection of yourself and the room around you. Remember that this is only an image on the orb’s surface. Your goal is to look past this image to the center. Relax your gaze into soft focus.

Do not make prolonged eye contact with your own reflection.

How to Gaze into an Obsidian Orb
A work of semi-fiction

(Part 1)

Make sure you are protected. No need to go overboard: a piece of evil eye jewelry, a pinch of salt, and a candle dedicated to your favorite god should suffice.

Eliminate as much light as you can from the room while still being able to see the orb itself.

Set a timer. Fifteen minutes is a good time to start with.

Sit and make yourself comfortable.

Start to gaze.

Not me feeling dysphoric after posting this because I think everyone is going to assume I’m a trans woman rather than a nonbinary trans man 😩
Nobody said anything to give me that impression, but the feeling was still there. Selfie backfired 🙃