i am very scared

it's going to go really badly
i dont want to go

and evne if it wasn't bad its a step on a too big of a turning point
and they don't get it

i'm scared i don't even know what am i going to say
im forcibly going there

people usually don't even go there being forced to

"i cant be with my family" is
the scariest words i want to say
because if they dont understand what i mean everything will be awful

i'm scared
"i'm autistic but undiagnosed" "i'm transgender with denied access" "i have highly disabling migraines but no medical proof" "i don't have studies and can't get out of my house because of undiagnosed mental illness" "i can't be with my family or with people"
what is any of thhat even getting at