"Till death do us part." is not only a promise but also a threat for how much I'm willing to risk to wife a cutie.

A bored security guard: Ma'am, for the last time, the 'gates of hell' exhibit is just a bronze statue not a literal gateway.

Me, carrying a crowbar and a slingshot: But if I open them half an inch I can slingshot this ring onto Satan's finger and make him my borat voice my wife.

Treating Wife Life bot's posts as a pokedex of wives to wife.

@fluxom_alt *pokedex voice* Husky wife! This wife loves taking long walks in the snow!

@BestGirlGrace Introducing myself by tapoing the pokedex against me so it can say "Stardust Wife, Sparkles Life" in a synthesized voice.

@fluxom_alt Brb, adding "stardust" to wifelife's word list

@BestGirlGrace I demand to be @'d if it comes up so I cannot miss it