The advice I got a lot as a kid was that if I wanted respect I should treat people in a professional manner, but here I am starting conversations with people I supposedly have a professional relationship with by saying "What's up bubblebutt thunderslut."

"Treat people the way you'd treat your best friend."

"Okiedokie" I say before shoving people into a locker and talking about my sonas at them for an hour.

"How about treat people the way you would want to be treated????? Please be normal about this."

"You got it." I say before introducing myself to strangers by handing them pictures of cute snakes and drawings of my sonas. I tell them I'm proud of them for all the hardships they've overcome in their life.

"You know what, I give up, just treat them like you'd treat your relative. That has to be normal, right?"

"You got it." I say before awkwardly moving a few feet away. The room is silent for a long time, and then I lean over to whisper, "This is the part where you're supposed to ignore my feelings and be shocked that I don't want to talk to you about my problems."

"I give up. Go home."

Me, walking into a new conference to learn some professional manners. "Whats up, I'm Lo, they them pronouns, gay as hell, here's my sonas, and I saw a cute dog on the way here so I took a pic of that too. Please line up to be bullied."

"Ma'am, we're-"

"I know where I am."

@fluxom_alt i feel like this is the kind of thing where it's in my best interests to show up wearing one of those "don't fuck with me // i WILL cry" shirts