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When you’re rich it’s called a loophole, when you’re poor it’s called fraud

the people i follow on this site are some of the smartest, most literate people i've ever come across, and their most popular posts are like, "taint smell like a fam"

cw: body positivity 

im not ashamed to admit that i love my traditionally gorgeous and impossibly shapely wife -- others may mock her heaving bosom or her powerful glutes or her thick mane of lustrous curls or her taut, golden skin but me, i am proud to have insane amounts of torrid sex with her, my disgusting, sexy wife

I can't believe Kib Razorsubtle is dead. That did not shock me.

— Zan Toltotònul, sheriff

I was near to my own Bed. No, I'm not interested.

— Vutok Saziruker, Recruit

*sings*
Iii wanna hug somebody
I wanna cuddle up with somebody
Yeah I wanna hug somebody
Hug somebody who loves me.

I taught striking. That was satisfying.

— Tekkud Thizkol, Recruit

Software wordplay 

Instead of "uninitialised variables" you could call them "state secrets". :3

I'm NOT giving you my phone number for 'extra security'. We both know you mean, "So we can sell it and give you even more spam.

If you want my phone number, you'll have to get it from google like everyone else.

idk what it is abt keanu reeves but he's the only man

Good morning everyone! To my transgender friends you are valid and wonderful! Do have an excellent day today everyone! 🧡🧡🧡🐿️🌺🏳️‍🌈

happy girlfriend's day to my girlfriend (the loch ness monster)!

Humans bore me. I should retreat into the wilderness.

FYI you are worthy of healthcare and being treated like a human being regardless of your weight or how "fit" you are (and acknowledging the two things don't even friggin intersect).

Leather is great for sneaking around because it's made of hide.

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!