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Lewd shitpost 

Balls like a coinpurse with Two jumbo marshmallows inside

there is an industry of selling poor Americans' blood for export and it is worth more than our soy and corn exports.

mintpressnews.com/harvesting-b

when Marx said that capital was vampire-like he did not know how fucking prescient he was

Ok, I immediately realized that Slaking is a giant sloth, but you know what I mean

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I want an all-prehistoric Pokemon game. A game where I can have a giant sloth, and a quadrupedal whale

Marriage Story sounds like an updated for 2019 movie equivalent of the Great American Novel that's about a horny English professor who cheats on his wife.

I tried to alert my company to a guy going around pretending to be an employee to scam people.

I got a phone call from a big dummy who didn't look at the screenshot I had attached, and who was very stern about me NOT giving out private information about employees.

"How did you get his name?" Uhhh it's in the screenshot? On a public website? This person doesn't work for us?

guitar is woodwind if you fart in it. trumpet can be percussion. synth? that's a power tool. fuck it up

white leds don't emit light directly - they excite a phosphor, similar to how a crt works.

and we're slowly using them to replace orange sodium vapor streetlights.

what i mean is, someday the sky over _every_ port will _literally_ be the color of a television tuned to a dead channel.

@dankwraith @garfiald See also:
- the statement “planets revolve around the sun” is technically an approximation
- the “scientific method” as taught in public school isn’t how scientific work is actually done
- too many science-lovers idolize individual “gods” of science and spin narratives pitting them against alleged religious prudes
- Science as an elitist institution is different from science as basic human curiosity possessed by everyone

people have actually successfully assassinated Kissinger several times but the problem is that killing Kissinger transforms you into the exact same Kissinger

So this one was inspired from one of @dankwraith's posts earlier today about heliocentricism vs geocentricism, because fun fact: the sun isn't even the thing at the centre of the solar system

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body, gross 

Stretching my stiff neck and hearing it crack like I'm walking on the surface of a thawing pond.

What if we put Wario's head on top of A Cyberdemon's body! 

It'd look something... like this!

White people'll be like, "I don't understand why women would be so attracted to Prince" then go wild for white men who like hadrosaurs and early evolutions of the horse.

friendly reminder that you shouldn't nitpick the term "antisemitism". Yes, there are plenty of other Semitic groups, but Jews did not pick the term.

It was invented by German race scientists in the 19th century because "Judenhass", meaning "Jew-hatred", was getting bad press. So they coined antisemitism instead in order to switch to a more scientific-sounding justification for their bigotry, especially one that would fit into their racist categories.

They should make a Pocketmans game where you don't have to be a child.

Why can't I roleplay an almost 40yo, quitting my job in IT to become a Pocketmans trainer?

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