I've been so much less disassociated since getting my hysto. I have learned so much about my body and where/when pain pops up in the last 12 days that I have actually inhabited my skincage.
Way easier to keep track this way. O.o
But ALSO the small of my back behind where my uterus was?
Suddenly NOT constantly tense or twinging?!
Stress will fuck you up, turns out
Like I *knew* I'd always been at least *somewhat* disassociated at all times.
The amount of times I've been *entirely* in my body post-menses I can probably count on one hand.
I just didn't realize it was SO MUCH until now.
For years I've felt like for the most part I was 25-50% here and 50-75% disassociated unless I worked really hard to ground myself
Now I feel like that's flipped and it's magical
But like, I can only give rough %s to it now that I know what it feels like to be *not* disassociated so
Less "vaguely everywhere" and more, "if I'm remotely stressed, these muscles in my spine ache", and "sometimes my wrists/hands hurt inexplicably for a little while"