So a friend and I are tossing back and forth hilariously oversimplified summaries of video games. I am particularly proud of this one.

Final Fantasy 4: "A knight decides what clothes to wear. There are several thousand casualties."

@Felthry super mario bros: mario picks up his girlfriend from the spa

@typhlosion You really don't even have to try with Mario. "Surprisingly athletic middle-aged plumber thwarts evil turtle" is already ridiculous enough.

@Felthry that's why i tried simplifying it even further

kirby's dream land: kirby eats the rich

@typhlosion @Felthry Do More???

Pokemon: preteens participate in state sanctioned animal fighting.

Link's Awakening: Young boy is killed by chickens.

@ajr @typhlosion @Felthry

TES5 Skyrim: "Random foreigner wins at yelling."
Assassin's Creed: "Man in ancient near east takes up BASE jumping. No one notices or cares."

Bastion: "Lovable old man tells stories around the campfire."

Half Life: "Unexpected devleopments in his field lead a young physicist to discover new talents."

@Terrana @ajr @typhlosion

Ys I: Foreign swordsman discovers his true calling as a librarian

@typhlosion @ajr @Terrana

Spyro series: Young dragon recovers lost treasure, gives it all to ursine con artist.

Kingdom Hearts: ???? ?? ??????? ? ?????????? ?? ?????

@Felthry @Terrana @ajr final fantasy tactics advance: some kids get lost and get into a big fight about it

@typhlosion @ajr @Terrana @Felthry Metroid: A bounty hunter gets misgendered and then adopts an alien baby

@vahnj @Felthry @Terrana @ajr undertale: small child gets knocked down, but gets back up again eventually

@typhlosion @vahnj @Felthry @ajr

Undertale: "Executive meddling ruins popular TV show."

@Terrana @typhlosion @vahnj @ajr

Star Ocean 3: Computers become sentient, seek peace.

@Felthry @ajr @typhlosion @Terrana Breath of Fire 3: a goddess murders her children because she doesn't like them

@vahnj @Felthry @ajr @typhlosion That's basically half of world mythology right there.

@Terrana @Felthry @ajr @typhlosion Secret of Mana: a sword and a tree made you. use your dad to murder the bad guys.

@vahnj @typhlosion @ajr @Terrana Tales of Xillia: Everyone wants to kill you because you're literally a god.

@Terrana @ajr @typhlosion @vahnj

Baten Kaitos: A group of adventurers discover that the ocean exists.

@Felthry @Terrana @ajr @typhlosion @vahnj Portal: An employee tries to avoid getting baked at work.