nasty creachure 💕 @monsterrtrash@computerfairi.es

in theory i could get surgery to change these things but 1. i am mortified of surgery. i hate my body being altered in any way im terrified of being put under i just...cant do it nope. 2. im not sure if this is due to dysphoria or just because i have sensory issues that make things weird for me. maybe i actually wouldnt like having a dick and it would make things worse.

I wish it were all external. I wish it were easier for me to get off with other people instead of having to find weird specific ways to cum when they do things to me. I wish I never had to worry about having kids. I wish i could enjoy the sensations I'm supposed to without it being a huge struggle at best and impossible at worst.

I've been gradually learning to enjoy putting things inside my pussy but it's taken so long for me to feel remotely comfortable with it and it really takes an active effort rather than feeling natural like humping something to get off does. Putting things in my ass has somehow been easier. I also just hate having a uterus and ovaries like the idea of being capable of having kids really deeply upsets me.

i would be so much better off with a cock. the way i masturbate and fuck feels like its supposed to be there, almost like my body wishes it was. i have no problem with my external appearance and external stimulation (when done by me, cant really enjoy it from others yet due to over-stimulation issues) but as soon as it comes to internal stuff I get so uncomfortable.

So not only did I just finally fit my entire dragon dildo inside me for the first time, when I took it out I squirted in a way I never have before??? When it popped out right after a fucking deluge of water came pouring out of my vagina. I'm used to being very wet, but wow I've never squirted like THAT. I couldn't stop it. I had no idea my pussy COULD have that much juice in it.

Got my first buttplug from a local lgbt/women-owned sex shop and I am very much enjoying it 💕 it says "be mine" on the heart
(I'm using it with a condom until my toy cleaner arrives for easier cleanup)

I think it feels more natural because I don't like losing too much control. Even if I trust someone a lot i don't like it a lot of the time. I want to put in my own effort. I need room to move. I like to psychologically domme even when I'm subbing. Although I worry that when I domme ill do something wrong or be bad at it that anxiety is substantially less than the anxiety I can get from being too subby. Loss of control frightens me.

The biggest problem was that she was taller than me and we were standing up so I had to borrow her platform shoes to position myself properly lmao. I will keep that in mind for next time.
I feel so empowered!! I'm a switch but like wow I've subbed every time I've had sex and I still struggle with it feeling right sometimes. Yet my first time domming, even though I'm not as skilled, felt just soooo right...

And I did a good job for my first time too! I made her cum!! I'm so happy I was so insecure and wondering if I'd do a bad job but I got really into it and managed to slip into the right mindset. It all felt very natural. Being in a domme mindset felt natural. Being in a domme position felt natural. Fucking a girl with my strap on felt extremely natural. I can domme!!!

I FINALLY DOMMED. I FUCKED SOMEONE. I DIDN'T JUST GET FUCKED, I F U C K E D. I'M SO HAPPY IVE WANTED TO DO THIS FOR SO LONG AND NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TIL A COUPLE DAYS AGO

Been a while since I used this account but holy hell I have updates

Better start calling me Kanye because I learned that I like fingers in my ass

didnt wanna use my actual fursonas because i dont want everyone on my main to know im a freak

Finally made a proper icon real quickly now that im more active on here

im very insecure about my weirder kinks and im not really used to talking about them anywhere or with anyone so please be kind to me. i wont post anything about them without some kind of warning and im not seeking to get anyone else involved in them rn. i get really afraid ppl are gonna think im too weird and not wanna talk to me or think im attractive anymore so like even if u think its cringe please dont make me feel any worse about them than i already do

I think of stories almost episodically in my head just when my mind wanders. my kinky fantasies end up just kind of fitting in there with them. Even if the fantasy is really ridiculous I get the urge to make it tied to some sort of overarching plot and developed characters. I dont even really intend to do it a lot of the time it just kinda happens. its how i think. I see the kink stuff as sort of filler episodes that could fit in the story but arent essential to it.

I drew some sketches of a potential fetish comic or fic that takes place in sort of optional, in-between moments during the story of an actual, non-kinky f//f4 fanfic im working on. part of me wants to actually write and upload it but i already plan on writing and uploading the real fic online and id be afraid of people tracing them to each other and giving me crap for it.

Im one of those people like I blush super easily and embarrassment hits me like a truck so idk its endearing and comforting when others are like that too