i think ocd awareness brought it up, ive got a handful of strong symptoms from a bunch of things plus most likely being autistic so its all soup here

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trying to decipher how my brain works which is truly an enigma, ive given up on conventional traditional diagnoses because wowza

feeling extremely detached and out of place oops

i completely knocked out i think because the smoky air is getting to me but now my eyes and throat hurt and im still sneezing + generally feeling miserable

shes like "this is confusing, so i will simply ignore it" like thank you for not being helpful and never taking me to the doctor except when i needed vaccine shots but only because my middle school forced you to...

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i dont even know how to renew my prescription at a new doctor let alone Who my new doctor is because my mom doesnt tell me, i feel so trapped within her weird ways and lack of understanding how health insurance works so i have to struggle and figure it all out myself

etsy stuff is the only thing keeping me motivated because its something i can control and ive had actual positive feedback about instead of, feeling unqualified to do any job to speak of

even when employers contact me i feel this bone crushing dread because i know i'll just disappoint them and they'll reject me anyway... i just feel incompetent of able to have an actual job despite being in retail for 2 years...feel shitey

time to apply to more jobs/internships...lowkey dying because its 115 degrees again and i had too much dairy yesterday oopsie

i should make a bookmark for masto so i can remember to check it out more.... friend city pleas

dream to learn orville peck songs on guitar, im part way there

so its like, local tl is everyone i follow + those peoples mutuals? it seems and then federated tl is everyone...sorry im behind on figuring this stuff out i want to stay in touch with friends and keep dealing with nightmare housemate shit...

i put my chart in my bio so i can be truly put on blast here

i should change my icon to doctor doom tooting

theres so many different timelines, the multiverse

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Computer Fairies

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