No, help, I'm thinking about datacats now and nothing's alleviating it.

Datacats manifesting themselves as mildly luminous hard light constructs and meowing for your attention in three-part harmonies.

If you don't provide pets, the load upon a black MIDI file until you grant them the attention they deserve.

Why bother using encryption when you can let your datacat mangle your outgoing packets while a trained, server-side datacat makes sense of your transactions.

Unable to bear watching you leave home for work for the umpteenth time, your pet datacat leaps into your smartphone and modifies its OS so it can spend the day with you.

You try to keep your interactions with your phone to a minimum as every interaction with your apps 'pets' your datacat, eliciting notification-like rumbling purrs while in your pocket or purse.

Password generators? Just load your datacat onto your computer and let it scrabble together some Unicode characters for you with true randomness and copy it down for later.

While cats are make of liquid, datacats are made of glitches. Do not be surprised if you see your datacat:

- Clip through walls and be too lazy to remove themselves.
- Elasticize from one side of the room to the other with incorrect collision detection.
- Chromatically aberrate their faces when they're cross with you or something else.
- Phase between analog and digital.
- Respond to touch stimulus like a liquid crystal display.
- Purr in rapid, overlapping succession with random volume levels.

Your new datacat needs a steady diet of wet malware and dry bad code. Don't exclusively feed your datacat scrap code fragments unless you want it to incur a WeightOutOfBounds exception.

When you're sleeping, datacats spend an exorbitant amount of time surfing the Internet.

Do not be surprised if your datacat starts recreating iconic cat faces when it reconstitutes itself as most datacats believe that a human 'purr' is a laugh.

Datacats are fiercely loyal companions once you've achieved a trust quotient within acceptable parameters.

Harming the owner of a datacat means all of your electronics in your home are forfeit and most likely will be subjected to catastrophic system failures.

As you age, datacats become more concerned with your health and will begin to hijack your browser tabs for mental and physical health literature along with periodic reminders to take care of yourself, admittedly crudely translated into UwUspeak.