i spend so much time in bed. first a couple of hours trying to fall asleep. then sleeping. then i wake up, feed the cats... and take several hours to fall asleep again. if you spend 14-16 hours in bed every day there's not much of a day left

it's excruciating. lying in bed fucking still hurts, it's a lot better with the soft mattress but my joints still sublux & dislocate. there's no position that doesn't hurt.
then i'm too tired to get up again but i can't sleep anyway.

or the other fun thing, when my body randomly decides 3 hours of sleep was enough and i can't any more, but am too exhausted to do anything whatsoever that day, so i just hang around, too tired to even do some housework.

and now my body has completely scrapped the ~ 24 hour rhythm that i had enforced with melatonin supplements, that means i get tired at 5-6 in the mornings

which is very "interesting" because i regularly have medical appointments in the mornings. so i get up after 1-4 hours of sleep and then after i come home i go to bed again, take several hours to fall asleep, still don't get enough sleep to be able to do things afterwards

it's terrible. it used to be so good for most of 2016 so i really wish i knew why it got so bad again?

it's just so frustrating. i have so many things i wish i could do but i just can't. part of them because i'm in too much pain, or don't have the physical energy, but also part of it because i need to fucking sleep

maybe it was not a good idea to force myself to do basically anything after no matter how little sleep for like 10 years of my life.

going to school after no sleep? yeah can do.
taking university exams after 2 hours of sleep? naturally!
be out on the airfield vor 12 hours after 3 hours of sleep? every weekend!
12 hours of work after 2 hours of sleep? count me in!

also with what i'm currently eating i probably should not be surprised that my body gives out.

will be a long stretch until august.

@AndyC no that's the body's "biological clock" that makes people want to sleep & wake up at roughly the same times every day in a ca 24-hour pattern

@slooploon fight the body clock power....random power naps for all

@AndyC i know you're trying to make a joke but for me this is really not funny, it is a huge problem that makes my everyday life a lot harder

@slooploon OK....please excuse my insensitivity, I always work a bit off centre. i appreciate for many people life can be a shit sandwich and the last thing you need is crappy dressing.

@AndyC yeah it's okay, i just need people to know this is a serious thing for me, not just an inconvenience

@slooploon I hear ya. have you found a way round it

@AndyC melatonin supplements used to work, but no more.

@slooploon ooosh anything non chemical? I usually use TED talks on loop

@AndyC haha no anything distracting will just keep me awake indefinitely. also, i have severe chronic pain so "chemical" things are what i live on

@slooploon I have a friend down in florida who takes prescribed 60mg of morphine....that's gotta help

@AndyC sounds good, unfortunately i have a generalized opioid intolerance, which means the "best" painkiller i can take is ibuprofen, which.. doesnt' actually do much 🙃 🙃 🙃

@slooploon theres always the mallet to the head....I saw it on this cartoon once and feel like I must emulate it

@AndyC if that would work, i know a great many people who would happily hit themselves on the head every night

@slooploon it has to be self administered....I hear the law makers get kind of shouty if you do it to someone else

@AndyC hahaha yeah

@AndyC if you do it to yourself you'll only be forcefully hospitalized 🙃 🙃

@slooploon better access to meds. ...it's a win win

@AndyC that's really not true