Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

yeah this storytime is continuing sorry.

anyway. defining moment of his backstory. so akates is a full-fledged sith in the aftermath of his master's death (which he had nothing to do with, fortunately). new kid on the block. young. tiny. not particularly good at fighting. just wants to study books. easy prey.

especially for one of his master's previous apprentices, who always thought akates was too much of a teacher's favourite and is still real sore about it.

i feel like my little sith inquisitor's defining moment was something i didn't get to ever really bring up in rp and that i really need to write up as a proper mini story eventually.

it's just... kinda perfect. when i thought about it, i got so excited. it was the final puzzle piece for this version of achates (because first there was achates the blood elf warlock, etc etc... it's a weird thing i do sometimes of taking the same core and building up the character in new setting but anyway)

that was his strength. he was born in slavery and spent a most of his life as a scullery boy, being slowly groomed to fill that head chef position. and the chaos of cooking a dinner party for 35 on half a day's notice is not, in lord akates's mind, that much different from "sir, republic ships coming into our sector". keep organized, keep a cool head, communicate, be ready to improvise with what you have, and you'll get through.

and a cup of tea helps whenever you can grab it.

i always played that as something where other sith thought him kind of expendable, but secretly, the rest of the empire LOVED him. the 'little people' of common soldiers were over the moon about him. because if lord akates was coming to your command post, your life was going to *improve*. and it would improve considerably.

a common grunt may not care about sith secrets. but they sure as fuck care about the mess hall having good food (and now taco tuesday too!!!!!!!!)

is he talented? well, somewhat. enough. he likes to do scholarly work, but he's not the most fantastic translator or so on.

no, his real talent - the one i consider his greatest strength - is middle management.

a sith lord who's a good middle manager. nope, not fantastic bladework, not arcane secrets, not harnessing the power of darkness. none of that. he's at his desk with a cup of tea balancing the budget and working out schedules and doing it *fantastically*.

honestly what was always fun with him is the contrasts. other sith - big, scary, evil, constantly menacing.

akates? says he is 5 feet tall, is lying. maybe 110 soaking wet, on a good day, after a large meal. soft-spoken. very polite. will smile and genuinely ask you how your day is going and offer you a cup of tea. infuriatingly light-side. horrifically gentle.

in a land of booming tyrants, here he comes like somebody's abuela to pat you on the arm, give you a cup of tea and a cupcake.

man. i miss roleplaying my sith inquisitor.

i'm gonna talk y'all's ears off about him now, pull up a chair

"the newer pokemon generations are all full of trash designs! there's no creativity shown in things like - what is this, just an ice cream cone! original generation was best for creativity!"

ah yes, the amazingly creative character designs such as Drag Queen In Blackface, Angry Orb No. 1 and Angry Orb No. 2,

@monorail YEAH POP THE BIG BOWL OF POPCORN AND SETTLE IN FOR THIS ONE LOL

@monorail OH MAN

POP YOURSELF SOME POPCORN, THIS SHIT'S A DOOZY https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/anc11t/mods_of_rmua_have_banned_themselves_and_no_posts/

you know it's good reddit drama when there's a businessinsider writeup about it l m a o

i need to go to bed instead of being captivated by reddit drama but

lmao /r/makeupaddiction

so in conclusion, please see attached vintage fucking meme, i'm gonna go cry for no reason and/or play splatoon.

OH AND SHOUTOUT TO THE LYSTEDA, WHICH IS DOING EXACTLY JACK AND SHIT

me without lysteda: bleeding thru overnight pad in 2 hours

me with lysteda: bleeding thru overnight pad in 2 hours, except also now i'm worrying about stroke risk and having to choke down massive horking pills 3x a day!

F U C K T H A T S H I T

and to all of the medical establishment willfully ignoring the effects of hormonal birth control, and synthetic hormones, on the mental health of women.... who refuse to listen to such things and refuse to advocate for patients to be properly warned....

🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 ❗

i will preface this with: please do not be worried. i have an excellent support system, and i have robust coping strategies at work.

however.

you know what fuck taking the other 7 days of progesterone like i'm supposed to, we already up to extremely mild suicidal ideaton. fuck that shit! FUCK IT! i got video games to play! NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. let's not see what super extra picante is like.

"i can be brave and actually be on my period," i say, bracing myself for pain. "i can show the doctor i'm a good patient! i can tough this out!"

my depression, ready to slam dunk me into the Cry All The Time pit:

@grapenuts_robot i cant believe homestar runner invented vaporwave

it's not really what i INTENDED to do today, but i feel like it's nonetheless useful, so

could be worse?

i keep being philosophical on the internet in odd spaces and idk what that says about me

hopefully good things? given what i am saying? but still

last night it was https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/anmwz4/she_actually_did_it_jenny_milcarthy_threw_out_my/efup5a7/ crashing the reddit for people frustrated with their mothers-in-law with life advice

today it's commenting on splatoon 2 comm twitter drama with attempts at chill wisdom and sincerity https://twitter.com/parttimesquid/status/1093236925320888320