Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

@InspectorCaracal unfortunately no :( i can't think of any like.. bad dings that she's encountered, which is what makes it so vexing. especially because this came on gradually. at least she's ok with my text noise blorp and my mom's trying to figure out changing her phone i guess

my dog has become increasingly terrified of ding or chime noises in the last few months, and my parents don't want to change their text message received noises, so every time they get a text my dog gets scared ><

i'm trying to figure out how to train around this but... when she's scared, she also doesn't want to eat treats

today's crackpot theory:

darth vader's father is actually the stig from top gear

evidence:

1. want go fast
2. good at go fast
3. die if you take helmet off
4. not so good at people-ing
5. but very very very good at go fast

"harp that joke was a bit of a stretch" i stand by it.

@alimcgowen i feel like i finally understand the gameplay of pacman now on some fundamental level, and why its sequel was ms. pacman

jesus christ when did it get to be 3:30 am!!!!!!!! fuck

GOODNIGHT FEDIVERSE

@MrJimmy tbh i would actually suggest looking at resources for domestic violence for support, an idea of what to do next, strategy, etc.

the world is much more comfortable with the idea of a romantic partner gone wrong

but honestly, close friendships can do the same... fucking... thing. if you presented this as a romantic partner, the world would yell "holy shit get away from your abuser". so, honestly... believe that and holy shit gtfo from this person

@MrJimmy i don't even know the full story and this is me giving you permission that you're like 3-5 incidents past when i would have told anyone else "holy fuck, that is NOT someone who respects your boundaries or you as a person, cut contact, yeet them into the sun, batten down hatches"

@MrJimmy i may be about 45 seconds away from collapsing into bed, just watching things drift by on the fediverse

however

i don't know what the specific bit you're wanting advice on

but this is about 5 "and then..."s past when i would be telling someone who received this behavior from a romantic partner to block this person, consider looking into restraining orders, and start documenting incidents of abuse and evidence thereof for later use.

seriously though, the formula of the essence superlast liquid eyeliner is fantastic. 4 bucks, liquid eyeliner, black as night, will not fucking budge, your skeleton will be found with eyeliner still long 200 years after we die in a fallout-style nuclear apocalypse etc etc,

but the applicator!!!!!!!!

is just!!!!

this NOODLE!!!!!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT AT FUCKING ALL AND IT DRIVES ME MAD

eventually it would be baller to use to coat my vampstamp but like. no

why noodle

@AudreyJune i tend to use liquid brushy liners, but the one i found that i'm probably never going to stray for lol was on recommendations from, like, the one Booty Gooroo i watch on youtube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI2-LgFyxbQ is her overview of 'best drugstore eyeliners'.

i can verify that Essence has some shockingly good formulas (i just don't particularly like the one i got from them because the applicator is? it's like??? ricearoni noodle??? i just use the physician's formula booster eyeliner instead)

@InspectorCaracal @monorail i think i saw it on tumblr and it also explains why most mushroom kingdom citizens are just like "lol, there goes that bowser again"

i know the real answer is "they are not in dire panic because it's a g-rated family-friendly vibe" but i like to think all those mushroom dudes are just kinda smiling and nodding as they humor the obvious roleplay going on

"shh don't break character, think of our low tax rate and excellent public services including dental" "ok ok"

@monorail bowser's endgame is participating in a happy and consensual polyamorous triad, fulfilling the kidnap-and-rescue kink of the other two triad members

...

i mean that's the only way i can make sense of it

(note: have never played a mario game)

terrible picture but i actually!!! cleaned up my bathroom counter today!!!!!! my makeup isn't just in ONE GIANT PILE IN A BASKET but i actually have it in.. drawers and shit...!! AND my new brush set came today! so i'll be able to replace my ten-year-old e.l.f. brushes lmao

@madness thank you positivity Cthulhu

honestly the main differences between canon vader and masquerade!vader are thus

canon vader: is a dumbass and human dumpster fire

masquerade!vader: is a dumbass and human dumpster fire, but is aware of this, and largely unable to change these facts. alternates between quietly screaming into his own hands about this state of affairs and dumping some more gasoline on to things because may as well be a brightly burning trash fire we here for a good time not a long time hashtag yolo

i'm so proud to have glimpsed a darth vader rp account on berries, roleplaying him with the characterizations of "utter dumbass" and "human disaster"

truly, i have glimpsed a wondrous sight of one of my tribe, my very own people, in the distance

which is to say