Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

so i may have downloaded a mobile mmorpg on a lark last night and oh my god y'all this has some of the most comedically bad voice acting i have ever heard

it's so clear that they were just like "we don't need VOICE ACTORS! we got voices! hey susan, get over here and say these lines. you got a kid at home, right? yeah bring him in tomorrow..."

me: oh boy creative brain is here time to write!!!

creative brain: well looks like i should be going

me: but i wrote 3 paragraphs and then figured out a good french name and now you're leaving??? what about the rest of the chapter?!??!!?

creative brain: lolbye

me: hmmm maybe i can must muscle on through....

my shoulder: well actually about this whole "typing at the computer thing" :)

me: ...

me: :(

@Taweret@octodon.social i am delighted to inform you there's an entire podcast episode of medical history devoted to this https://www.maximumfun.org/sawbones/sawbones-frankenberry-stool

honestly you can tell pretty much the exact vibe i'm going for with this harry potter fic with me explaining that i was finally driven to start writing it after hearing The Roches, specifically Hammond Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09ypwCN9FDc

there's something just... immediately gripping about this song that does not want to go, and i find deeply compelling in a way i can't quite explain

please give it a chance honestly

@InspectorCaracal it was and it's just the best analogy because she has done a fantastic job of stepping up to the plate, being handed interesting topics, being pitched the softest of softballs and TOTALLY FUCKING WHIFFING IT

@InspectorCaracal it's like seeing someone promise you a delicious chicken dinner, pulling a beautiful roast out of the oven, carving off the meat, and throwing the meat all in the trash and proudly presenting you with gristle and bone

IT DRIVES ME BUCK FUCKING WILD

ny times opinion: don't visit your doctor in the afternoon! https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/14/opinion/dont-visit-your-doctor-in-the-afternoon.html

me, a known disabled: guessilldie.png?

though honestly as much as we could beat rowling over the read re: flubups that show a vast nonconcern about accuracy or minority representation,

all of the things she's fucked up drive me crazy because it's THE GOOD AND INTERESTING STUFF

like why would you just say "oh one wizarding school in america" when there's a spanish-speaking one in california, the powerhouse of creole magic in louisiana with a sister school in quebec, a southern school that is dealing w/ civil war legacy, etc etc etc

jk rowling: doesn't even read the wikipedia entry about american history before writing canon

me: carefully looking through the streets of Mannevillette, France so i can make sure my half-sentence about the architecture of the town is accurate for a fanfic

I'M JUST SAYING

WE KNOW WHO'S THE BETTER WRITER Y'ALL

me: oh i wonder why the #ffxiv tag is aflame with fury on birdsite

me, 15 minutes later, now knowing more about korean history than i did before, and feeling a melodramatic moment that might result in a soliloquy about man's inhumanity to man that my white ass does not deserve: i'm... going to... close.... that tab for a bit....

(for reference: https://twitter.com/cheche_dotharl/status/1128279381900779520 is a very important read that i commend to all of you)

my catgirl is now.... A CARGIRL #ffxiv

now uhhhhhhhhh does anyone have a phonebook she can sit on or something

apparently people are listening to music and there was a harpist at some point but let me tell you, as somebody who goes by 'harp' online, i was confused for a hot minute there,

@brainblasted y'know, i'm just a layperson, but there's some rich irony in purism/libre one billing themselves as a totally new ethical company - and still saying that they will bow to every law of every country a user is in, even when it is unjust censorship.

for one thing, ain't that displaying a willingness to rat out users that means the data purism says it won't touch is absolutely fair game if a government asks them nicely...?

me: jeez i wonder why i'm feeling awkwardly anxious and jittery today in a way that's unlike me

me: man this is a puzzle

my shoulder: has gotten an injection of steroids into it yesterday, which are likely sinking in properly today

me: boy........

me: it's just a mystery that will never be solved i guess

carbinks are very cute and make adorable noises. we should appreciate them more as pokemon, sez i

@monorail

1. lapras

2. alolan form ninetails

3. alolan form sandslash

4. sneazel which is the one that fucks everyone up when they least expect it and flummoxes nuzlocke runs

5. carbink that is wearing a glaceon hat. the player character objects to this and gets told "no no it's totally a glaceon, that's an ice type right there, not a rock/fairy type. anyway I'M the gym leader not YOU so"

6. glaceon OF COURSE, but a horribly OP one that is ready to steamroll teams left and right

@monorail i accept your hard mode challenge instead of my original joke of "glaceon, glaceon 2 electric boogaloo, return of the glaceon" etc

you would be an ice type gym leader, and give a glaceon badge (bc this is like. eevee region or something where badges are themed around eeveelutions and those are the different gyms to beat). and you would have, on a seperate post bc i'm runnin out of characters....