Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

my dog's one fault is that she loves me mostly because i have cookies

but i forgive her.

there are so many good dogs in okami top game

the only way it could be better is if you could pet the dogs but you are a dog so that is a pretty good reason why you can't pet them.

i do wish there was a "demand pets and belly rubs" command for just going up to human npcs and whining

there's only so many times you can realize you're most of the way to having natural drill curls before you just accept that it's destiny and order some motherfuckin tiaras

me, gazing at this one curl i have that always wants to be perfectly formed:

i didn't choose the hime life.......... the hime life chose me

@monorail tbh the more i sort of observe this all going on, i'm pretty sure the dude is just the resident missing stair

"oh he's just like that, ignore him" is a test for 'are you cool enough to hang with us' at this point. doing anything about it is not something worth consideration. the onus is on everyone else to learn where the missing stair is, apparently, lol

@mwlucas @June@kitty.town well, yes, and also needs to know the source of the confusion. therapy is, after all, a partnership - a back and forth - a dialog. if you're unhappy with your therapist, i encourage you to go find another that you are more comfortable with, so that you feel empowered to ask your therapist things like "could you be more specific". you are, after all, paying them. i'm just a rando shmuck on the internet who jumped in with perhaps-topical advice to a stranger. v:

@mwlucas @June@kitty.town however, this will probably not help the therapy to get anywhere, as the point of this exercise is more or less to link emotional hurt to the physical self so that we can recognize the physical symptoms, often to head off a bigger emotional snowball to come hit our heads clean off our shoulders.

e.g., "boy, my shoulders are tight. am i feeling anxious? what's making me anxious? hmm. i should do some self-care."

@June@kitty.town (breathing high/low, well, you can learn that from practicing belly breathing which is a really useful anti-anxiety thing. but honestly i learned it from wearing corsets LMAO. when you have steel boning underbust on down, you learn immediately that to breathe, you gotta fill in air around the titties and not in the belly lol.)

@June@kitty.town tbh some of this shit is really easy to miss because it all blurs together. it's like the body gives us so much input that at some point out of necessity, we just get the cliff's notes.

for me what really made it Fuckin Obvious was the fibromyalgia lol, but i know before that, guided full-body relaxation helped me kinda get my bearings. (because how often do you really get the chance to sit there and think 'relax your jaw', right?)

@June@kitty.town oh i might be able to actually help with this

think of anger as like tension or tightness. if you don't know where to get your bearings, maybe do a little checklist. are you breathing quick? is your stomach feeling fluttery or like you've got heartburn? are you clenching your teeth? are your shoulders tight? are you scowling and making your face bunch up with knitted eyebrows? are you breathing 'high', more near your throat, or 'low', in your belly?

objects that exist in liminal space, prone to sliding out of reality:

-chapsticks

-the other sock in a pair

-nail clippers/nail files

-the lipstick that you really want to wear today but has fucked off into the lands hidden at the bottom of your purse and may return someday, laden with gold and spices, if you hold hope steadfast in your heart

-top of a tupperware container

@Jessicacrets@mastodon.xyz i say public specifically for two reasons - one, it shows people moderating is getting done. two, it lets people he's rallying around him to come pat his ass for a dick move that such things aren't a fun escapade to not feel bad about in the least, but are instead contradictory to the culture the instance is trying to make.

the latter bit there is, i think, what's getting folks - since, again, i'm reading that for many instance admins this is not the first bs from r.t.

@Jessicacrets@mastodon.xyz i'm not sure what admin options there are, but something like a temp ban - even if jury-rigged through something as meta as "i've changed your login, it'll be back to normal in 2 days. go cool off" - would be appropriate. an admin note of "knock it off. you acted badly. this is not acceptable behavior and if you keep this up, your ass is grass" would be appropriate, especially i think in public response, instead of the "just block him idk ugh".

@Jessicacrets@mastodon.xyz i mean, he's keeping on keeping on as if he is perfectly in the right, so i think it's pretty clear that he does not care about how unkind he is, despite what you or other friends may think.

does that sound like somebody everyone should agree needs no more moderation than deleting one post?

i get that he's your friend. but people are also frustrated because, from what i'm hearing, "radical.town admins did bupkis" is a bit of a theme. hence, instance blocks.

@Jessicacrets@mastodon.xyz and honestly, if the answer is "that's just him, block it if you don't like it, it's just how he is", i don't think it's unreasonable for people to get frustrated at an admin who expects you to just know about the missing stair instead of doing anything to fix the problem of the stair being missing. (no, i am not laying any accusations of assault here; the idea is merely a useful one - the idea that someone should be accommodated and managed but not removed).

@Jessicacrets@mastodon.xyz i find it kind of the bare minimum honestly. and i know the catch-22 of moderating well - transparency versus kind consideration behind closed doors - but there are some issues where unfortunately a mod has to make a bit more of a public response, even if it's "i've dealt with it. let's move on, please." this plus the previously mentioned "well just block him" attitude, and the user in question offering no apology etc. as well - i hope you can see why some are upset.

@Jessicacrets@mastodon.xyz it's also why "just block them" is such a weak answer, if you view it as identifying an individual for the audience to specifically target. sure, you can block one person. but you have to swat down all they're trying to send to you one by one.

it's why also people are dissatisfied with that "ugh, he's just an asshole, get over it and block him" from the mod as well. it's a space where acknowledgement of concerns is really needed.

@Jessicacrets@mastodon.xyz i mean, i think the issue here is the response of "well it's a dick move, but we won't do anything about it".

screenshot dunking is indeed not good, but for me at least, the inclusion of username - especially username that is not a tag, so no chance to offer rebuttal - is used mainly as a signal for "go harass this person specifically". that level of identification elevates it from a dick move into, well, something more.

@catpigg i mean.... i'm pretty fuckin evangelical about em no lie lol

i've never had an eshakti dress fall apart on me, either, despite having them in my wardrobe for around 10 years now. some i've donated because my fashion sense changed, and one i miss dearly but that's because its strap was hitting my aching shoulder in just the most awful spot so it had to tearfully go to another home

...i still miss it. ...it made my tits look fantastic.