Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

but also, this is why the prequel jedi order had it fucking coming.

anakin: ...so yeah i've been really struggling with my whole lifetime of trauma thing, what do i do

jedi order: have you tried just not having it?

anakin: um

jedi order: just don't sweatie :)

anakin: wh...

jedi order: yeah just don't have feelings :) that fixes it. just don't :)

anakin: ....

jedi order: ok sweatie :) now that's fixed how about we send you into battle again so you can see more friends die :)

"Darth Vader seems so cool and aloof," thinks Imperial Mook, "wow I wonder what dark thoughts must fill his head as he stands there silently........."

the answer is: bupkis, because Darth Vader is currently disassociating to fuck, because he's a pile of ptsd stuck in a torture suit! he's a million lightyears away dawg! it's his only got dam coping strategy he got left!

but seriously tho, anakin skywalker makes so much sense if you just insert that from childhood, he's been swatting away casual ideation of "would sure be cool if i died tho".

podracing? why the fuck not, would sure be cool if i died tho

steal this fighter? sure, sounds like fun and if not would sure be cool if i died tho

charge headfirst into battle? awright let's do this, sure would be cool if i died tho

@Lunaf1917 as a token straight person i can assure everyone the answer is Absolutely Not And Never Have Been

Fools and Knaves of the Highest Order: sjws are so stupid trying to insert modern shit into stories

Me, An Intellectual, From Atop My Soapbox: ANAKIN SKYWALKER HAS BEEN AT LEAST PASSIVELY SUICIDAL SINCE AGE 9 IF NOT EARLIER AND YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND DARTH VADER AS A CHARACTER UNLESS YOU ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AS A RICKETY JENGA TOWER OF PTSD STUFFED INTO A TORTURE SUIT

Harp the Wigglytuff and the Eternal Struggle to Fucken Breathe Through Her Nose

@SanjoTheBanjo i like that! or depending on how neurotic you like your gnomes: hamsters.

@DangerDyke i think i might have one squirreled away from filling up a discord with custom emojis - ok two different ones, but here they are if you want to nab them for use!

@SanjoTheBanjo ok that does make more *logical* sense, but it is not as funny.

maybe foxes for tieflings? that seems kinda the same vibe. i feel like most of the egregiously tiefling behavior i hear people talk about could conceivably be done by Reynard the Fox so it works

@SanjoTheBanjo but if d&d is hit by a furry beam

does that mean the furries get de-furred

kenku are just regular humans now

@SanjoTheBanjo some might say the obvious answer is that tieflings are goats or rams.

however, i know the truth

tieflings are corvids, because 1. want shiny things, 2. will trick u for it, 3. very fashionable while doing so, 4. not evil like many people say just out 4 a laff hun xoxo

being an owner of titties, the only thing they really do for me in daily life is catch food that i fumble. i can only assume that sexy lucario girls do much the same, and thus their chest spike is probably snack storage.

could fit a donut on that, or impale an apple if you're tryin to be healthy

anyway after that last joke i'm absolutely certain i'm mere seconds from being banhammered, bye everyone! was nice meeting you!

or are all be-tit'ed lucario anthros....

....

wait for it

....

booby trapped

so how do people horny for lucario anthro girls navigate the whole chest spike thing

is that part of the appeal? The Most Dangerous Motorboating?

oh and then they came back on an alt to call us all snowflakes, cunts, and say they've been treated better on nazi servers.

their kick from me was with the cheerful message of "guess you need to go back to those nazi servers now buddy"