Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

ok i'm genuinely a bit excited for this one

nobody:

absolutely nobody:

nobody on god's green earth:

my brain, still singing the titania theme: FA LA LA LA LA ~

okay time to grumpily play breath of the wild in bed now that i think i have appeased my shoulder appropriately

goodnight mastodon

you should also go the fuck to sleep. y'know, eventually

@popefucker@cybre.space especially after you get past the introduction bits which was often just a conga line of abbreviations

then you get to realize that romans were waaaaay into chatspeak and thus nihil novi sub sole my dudes

@Pyretta @noelle ovid was up his ass so hard that he turned himself inside-out so if he's a comrade he's definitely the one that you avoid making eye contact with at all costs because if you get within his radius at the coffee shop he WILL mansplain to you basic concepts for the next 3 hours while not letting you get in a word in edgewise (but simultaneously expecting you to fawn over how learned and intelligent he is)

fuck ovid, is what i'm sayin', and i stand by that

i would also like to commend my pancreas on its timing because it did this while i was in a stint of eating pre-packaged diet meals, and i spent half that summer sobbing because i knew i needed to eat but was too nauseated to do so,

so now if anyone tries to get fatphobic about it at me: i was literally eating kale and eggwhite omelettes when my pancreas went on walkabout, so S U C K I T

happy three-year diabetes diagnosis anniversary to meee

3 years ago my blood sugar was over 500 when i plodded into the ER that night, and now:

1. my a1c is 5.1, better than my (non-diabetic) dad's

2. i'm down to taking only 4 units of long-acting insulin a day (and am about to come off it completely, only taking metformin and a weekly rx)

3. i can actually eat food and be cool in summer bc, let me tell ya: blood sugar of 500+ feels BAD!

"harp that's not really a spoiler at all, why did you tag that"

.........................better joke setup

stupid #ffxiv joke with minor shadowbringers spoilers if you consider a minion a spoiler i guess:

left: me with the snapchat filter on

right: me without the snapchat filter

@noelle and then in latin you get to infinitives that aren't present active and find that Ovid (that MOTHERFUCKER) has not only split them, but wedged, like, two fucking lines in between one part and the next,

so basically all language is fake and fuck you ovid.

@eightbitsamurai@elekk.xyz i'm going to vote for none of the above, arcanist/summoner because carbuncles good.

i bring you, #ffxiv tag, a rough and ready Great Serpent of Ronka emoji a guildmate just did for us

shadowbringers spoilers kinda sorta if you consider minions spoilers?

@legendaryjoeb please also look forward to the level 3 limit break, Ultimate Anti-Vaxxer Apocalypse, wherein your equipped Harps go thermonuclear with fury and bury your opponent under at least 150 pubmed citations. Works especially well on enemies that have already been attacked by a hero wielding the Adobe Creative Suite, and have cast the status of Corrupted Install so that all rolls to open pdfs are critically failed.

@legendaryjoeb congrats on finding the most powerful weapons in the game! remember to charge them up by shouting YOOM TAH!, and you can use several special moves:

1. Bless-Your-Heart Bomb - charms enemies to encircle a Southern Belle bomb, which then explodes, causing high damage. But be careful, bosses can toss it back at you, causing Politeness damage!

2. Wall of Text - erects a sesquipedalian defense that lasts for the next 3 turns; enemies have to pass an INT check to attack.

"harp why are you choosing order in the final #splatoon2 splatfest, though"

1. many things in life are acting in ordered systems, it's just multiple layers of complex ordered systems that ends up perceived as chaotic

2. you could summarize the struggle of life itself as the act of fighting against entropy (e.g. chaos), from plants using sunlight as 'fuel' all the way up to higher levels of culture, history, etc.

3. i like marina more

anyway what are the odds of being called a tankie if i choose order over chaos in the final splatfest. i'm guessing 75%

yesterday i definitely had interesting conversations going before the Spoon Thief Gremlin came and absolutely ground me into the dirt while scattering the Good Cool Thoughts i was having to the four fucking winds

i apologise

i'm also completely sure this will happen again

so in conclusion,