Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

honestly while i don't think i'd keep birds myself (allergies lol), i am admitting how much of my youtube watching is "birds happen to other people"

i may be saying this because emmymadeinjapan's video of roasting breadfruit is just delightful in terms of chicken interference

ok my shoulder and arm are today settling into a thing where i genuinely am now desperately looking forward to physical therapy next week and hoping they do some nerve flossing

if y'all have ever had nerve flossing/glides done in physical therapy, y'all will understand how whack that is

i have a Type and it's Anime Dads.....................................

*ace is not a dad but he is still a silver fox so he counts

i should probably actually play the other Zero Escape games, or at least replay 999

but then i'd have to confront the fact that i'm still hornty for Ace

@anarchiv guess you'll have to just take us over again and bring us under the iron heel of socialized medicine

*burning the white house down optional but recommended

**note: if this was not including america in colonies i'm going to look like booboo the fool but i stand by this attempted joke

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ baby rat.....

ok i should drag my silly ass to bed, please have this youtube classic to flight thee to thy rest, fediverse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8coX8VkUKY8

(warning for flashing because well it's a youtube poop)

these were not the frogs i was looking for but Holy Shit check out these round boys

@InspectorCaracal GOD YES and then the phenomenon of like

yes great the words all line up, it all makes sense, and then as soon as you try to get your fingers to do, your body complains and it's like

the puzzle you've been carefully putting together is now all over the floor. all of the little bits fitting together are now in the shag carpet.

that is usually the point at which i just turn into a rain frog in sheer grump

@InspectorCaracal and it's especially awful when you can just fEEL ALL THE LITTLE SHITS THERE

it's all ripe and ready to go!!!

it's just that you can't grab on to the fuckers and make it actually do the do onto the page out of sheer inability that goes way beyond writer's block. it's fuckin annoying as HELL

when will science fiction become reality so i can just beam my thoughts Directly To The Internet already

@InspectorCaracal IT IS THE LITERAL WORST

i feel like when i have spoons coming out of this i have to like.... warn people lmao. i have to be like "this is all the shit about being disabled i wish somebody had told me" because being dumb and not remembering good, okay, sure, i kinda got that. BUT BEING UNABLE TO CREATE??? INFINITE FUCKING ANGUISH

(honestly i think it's a big mental/physical disabled mood so join on in tbh, it's not like pain brain fog is that far off from all mental)

i realize now looking at the tag i've already posted that here but by god, i stand by my choices

*gets on soapbox*
*bangs pots and pans*

YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND ANAKIN SKYWALKER/DARTH VADER UNLESS LOOKING AT HIM AS A CHILD SLAVE TURNED CHILD SOLDIER SET UP FOR FAILURE BY HIS ENVIRONMENT IN MULTIPLE WAYS SHOWING THE INHERENT DISADVANTAGES THAT REMAIN IN SUCH CLASS SYSTEMS

anyway i have a lot of #darthvader feelings and i'm going to put them in the goddamn tag because the tragic humanity of the character is an essential part that gets lost

for further reading/listening, please see this ancient fanmix i made yonks ago https://8tracks.com/harpalyce/that-slave-boy-all-grown-1 , "a lightly southern-gothic-flavoured mix for everyone's favourite country slave turned sith", because that description and cover art tells you like 90% of what my strong darth vader characterization feelings are about.

i think the tldr here is that i am gnashing my teeth rolling around howling because one of the suckiest parts of being disabled/etc. that nobody warns you about is the creative constipation. i have all these good thoughts roiling around in my head like excited eels but i can't make the words do well enough to pull them out and it is fuckin ASSBALLS my dudes

....just don't examine that last bit too hard and realize just how much of my fanfic is "bad person struggling to be better", at least not before you look at Run Rabbit Run!Snape and how he is going to be stuck for the near-entirety of the fic like a mosquito in amber in the gap between "it would be bad to say this and do this but i've just done it anyway. shit. fuck"

at least until he meets God who is the barmaid in the afterlife

it's

one of those fics?

and that's it, that's the difference

the vader i write is one who is remembering that he is a slave boy all grown, and these masters have kept him on a leash for far too long, and all those promises of those who live in luxury have never gone far

he is not good at remembering and he often stumbles. the tune sways and stops and starts but it keeps going nonetheless

sometimes the gap of a bad man trying to be better and struggling makes the most interesting writing