Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

gay guys.... the patriarchy is a liar. you can't lean into the patriarchy enough to make it fundamentally love you, because it doesn't. if you try to do so, sure, the patriarchy will take you up a peg above women, but that's still way below straight men. you can't agree with the patriarchy's devaluing of you into them valuing you. you can't agree that you're lesser-than so incredibly hard that you become as-good-as.

i guess i should clarify, just in case

i don't think makeup is the domain of only women. i don't think fashion design or nursing or teaching should be, either.

but these are things where the patriarchy has said "that's for women"... but also "if you want to do it seriously or professionally, you have to be a man."

it's just the same old patriarchal "only men are worthy." i'm tired of it.

anyway, shitty feminist grumbling aside, hi and hello fediverse. it is now.... viscacha time

so yeah, i'm not exactly cheering the hardest about how jeffree star or some shit is ~breaking boundaries~ by being ~a man in makeup~.

men being taken more seriously than women, in fields that are meant to be women's spaces, is at some point just the same old tired misogyny we've been hearing this whole time. by all means celebrate the individual accomplishments, but recognize the pattern as you do.

not even getting to the attitude that this can get magnified into in some parts of the drag scene, where women are objects to be lampooned and mocked in hilarious caricature and not valued for anything else - except shutting up and sitting down because *they* know the *right* way to do *everything*, including *being a woman* better than women would ever think of.

it's not a coincidence that many of these same dudes will wrap themselves in casual transphobia up to their eyeballs, because they think misogyny is fine, and therefore they're allowed - if not honor-bound, "cause i'm gay!" - to hate many things that are typically female. "ugh, pussies are so GROSS, can you IMAGINE even HAVING one? AWFUL, DISGUSTING... i'm so glad i'll never have to deal with one near me 'cos i'm gay!"

in fact, to get REALLY fucking spicy, there is a massive problem - especially in these sort of spheres of fashion, etc. - with gay men, usually white and cis, who feel that they never need to answer for their own misogyny because they are gay.

that's not how it works. being gay is not carte blanche to belittle, look down upon, and harass women. "it's ok honey i'm gay" is not a response to "wait no, stop grabbing my breasts".

at some point a man telling women patronizingly they are doing makeup all wrong and he's there to save them from themselves is just the same old tired song and dance.

and "but i'm not straight!" is not a get out of jail free card. you can be gay and still be a misogynist.

you see it in cooking, you see it in sewing, you see it in teaching - a cook is female, a chef is male. a person who sews is female, a fashion designer is male. so on. so forth. only men are allowed to have influence and vision on the direction that things will take. women, as second-best, are expected to just consume and follow, as per the misogynist status quo.

while i sympathize with many of their plights, there is a point at which i stop having sympathy for male makeup artists

there is a point at which it just becomes the same old tale of "this is a women's sphere, only women can use this, but if you want to do it *professionally*, you'd better be a man because women can't be trusted with it now that it's important work"

i legitimately want to have a #lolitafashion meetup at a waffle house. because fuck it why the fuck not let's go be fancy with our hashbrowns all the way

the amount of red tape and paperwork that you are expected to do

to certify that you are still disabled (and unable to reliably do things like, say, sit down and do paperwork and secretarial work all day long)

is bullshit lol

i do feel though like someone who is a bit more in the thick of it than me should maybe start talking about the intersection of gender expression/gender feeling and chronic pain/chronic fatigue/other #spoonie stuff.

because i do believe there's something there, and probably a something quite interesting to talk about!

it's just that as 'cishet except mildly less girl on very bad pain days', i'm not the best person to explore it. someone should do so, tho.

i honestly don't think that i gain anything from exploring other labels and trying to insert myself into communities here.

"i feel solid i'm a girl, but on very bad pain days, i sometimes feel like girl at 80% saturation. girl at 5 inches to the left. nearly but not quite girl. heterosexual tho." if i tried to call myself queer for that, i think that i'd be seen as just an interloper - and i'd feel like one too.