Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

great british bake-off smut.

DON'T EAT IT MARY IT'S A BAD BAKE

i feel like one of these days i'm going to get clocked very easily even tho reports are anonymous simply because i end up always starting them the same Whoops

the infinite sadness of having Sephora tastes but Ulta money

well okay apparently the dior backstage foundation is only 40 dollars for 50 mL.

"only".

Why Is Makeup So Difficult

i will say props to colourpop for getting a foundation range where i actually match one of the colors

...

it's just a shame it's a pretty poor performing foundation and if i want something that performs better it's apparently, like, dior or some shit.

anyway this is why i was really happy to find a bb cream that blends to match my skin tone because it may not be full coverage but it's also not 120 dollars a got dam bottle

i am just a simple wigglytuff yelling in the wilderness "no you don't understand!!! i'm not being all weird about having pale skin, THIS IS JUST HOW IT IS PLEASE STOP BEING WEIRD ABOUT IT, IT'S NOT A VIRTUE OR WHATEVER now can you please tell me about reasonably-priced foundations that might match my skin tone"

i mean the entire problem is that i am both very pale, and my skin seems to think that the color yellow is fake news. so if i put on the shade that should match me if-it-were-all-greyscale, the yellow undertones make me look like i am about to star in some horrific racist commercial from 1957 with mickey rooney reprising his role from breakfast at tiffany's and THAT IS NOT A GOOD LOOK! FOR ANYONE!

at BEST i look severely jaundiced like i'm about to keel over of liver failure or w/e

it is not exactly a super great thing, being this pale!!! i go from ok to lobster in about .2 seconds!! i'm sure that skin cancer is gonna come get me at any day now!!!

i just want some advice about foundations....

and to sound egregiously entitled still... ALMOST NOBODY MAKES A SHADE THAT MATCHES ME GODDAMN. i mean of course i have it so much better than poc, but like. it's nearly impossible. unless i want to spend money on fucking dior foundation. drugstore shit? nope not there

finding a foundation color is so goddamn hard for me.

and whenever i try to find resources, most of them are from ~suPerPaiL princEssEEsss~. i asked for help on /r/mua and i'm pretty sure this is why my post got deleted lol.

i realize that i am, of course, benefiting from centuries of colorism and so on, but I JUST WANT TO FIND THE CORRECT SPACKLE FOR MY FACE NOT PARTICIPATE IN THAT WEIRD BUSINESS OF PEOPLE TRYING TO BE SUPER-PALE

are y'all ready for an incredibly petty makeup whine

PLEASE LOOK AT JUNIE... HE'S A VERY GOOD EEVEE.... YOUR EEVEES ARE ALSO VERY GOOD EEVEES TOO

i just wandered back into pokemon let's go (i had done an extended wandering into splatoon but i'm hitting the stage of the octo expansion where i'm Too Dumb For This) and my eevee!!!!!! my SON!!!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL BOUNCING BABY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

does anyone else just cry because eevees are Good

realtime footage of me arriving into the splatoon tag on fan fiction dot net

running a piece of loading screen art through photoshop to glitch-ey it up a bit totally counts as a good and reasonable idea for fanfic 'cover art' right

me: hey, brain, it'd be useful if we could remember things like our social security number, or which way is left

my brain: no can do, i'm busy remembering other stuff

me: ...like?

my brain: like how stalin got sent to the gulag for shit cosplay, and how the cantina band in star wars plays jizz music!

me: ....

my brain: so i'm afraid you're going to just have to continue looking at your hands to do the L-for-left thing so that we don't lose any NECESSARY INFORMATION