Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

it's just me remembering academia and pouring this poem all over my face tonight https://blogs.cardiff.ac.uk/rsrc/2019/03/08/i-got-told-what-to-call-this-poem-by-my-male-colleague/

i'm going to wake up tomorrow with a thousand angry replies from people retooting that like i'm actually a competent author and not part of the masses of ao3, but i regret absolutely nothing, this is top dad joke level folks

is that a really fucking stupid joke?

YES

am i going tell it still?

ALSO YES

guess who's a hugo award nominee now :^) https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/vbw9eb/internet-fan-fiction-archive-ao3-hugo-award

my dog has become increasingly terrified of ding or chime noises in the last few months, and my parents don't want to change their text message received noises, so every time they get a text my dog gets scared ><

i'm trying to figure out how to train around this but... when she's scared, she also doesn't want to eat treats

today's crackpot theory:

darth vader's father is actually the stig from top gear

evidence:

1. want go fast
2. good at go fast
3. die if you take helmet off
4. not so good at people-ing
5. but very very very good at go fast

"harp that joke was a bit of a stretch" i stand by it.

jesus christ when did it get to be 3:30 am!!!!!!!! fuck

GOODNIGHT FEDIVERSE

seriously though, the formula of the essence superlast liquid eyeliner is fantastic. 4 bucks, liquid eyeliner, black as night, will not fucking budge, your skeleton will be found with eyeliner still long 200 years after we die in a fallout-style nuclear apocalypse etc etc,

but the applicator!!!!!!!!

is just!!!!

this NOODLE!!!!!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT AT FUCKING ALL AND IT DRIVES ME MAD

eventually it would be baller to use to coat my vampstamp but like. no

why noodle

terrible picture but i actually!!! cleaned up my bathroom counter today!!!!!! my makeup isn't just in ONE GIANT PILE IN A BASKET but i actually have it in.. drawers and shit...!! AND my new brush set came today! so i'll be able to replace my ten-year-old e.l.f. brushes lmao

honestly the main differences between canon vader and masquerade!vader are thus

canon vader: is a dumbass and human dumpster fire

masquerade!vader: is a dumbass and human dumpster fire, but is aware of this, and largely unable to change these facts. alternates between quietly screaming into his own hands about this state of affairs and dumping some more gasoline on to things because may as well be a brightly burning trash fire we here for a good time not a long time hashtag yolo

i'm so proud to have glimpsed a darth vader rp account on berries, roleplaying him with the characterizations of "utter dumbass" and "human disaster"

truly, i have glimpsed a wondrous sight of one of my tribe, my very own people, in the distance

which is to say