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*David Attenborough hides in a bush, watching me take out my phone and start scrolling the timeline*

“Here we see the extremely rare Mastodon heterosexual. Like many before him, he’s wandered into a harsh environment to which his kind are ill suited, he must adapt quickly, or risk defederation. He’s cautious, he begins to type his first post, a reply to a woman with “men stay away’ in her bio: ‘Has anyone told you how beautiful you are when you smile?’ Oh, dear.”

i've hit that part of early ARR where my cishet ass knows it's not my lane to make jokes but The Jokes Must Be Made

(i'm just going to waggle my eyebrows enthusiastically instead)

also i sat down to wait for a dungeon queue and Davalia accidentally became the creepiest bunny of judgment, disapproving of all your life choices from inside some foliage

cw for virtual eye contact from creepy bunny of judgment

ok google how do i take cute screenshots without accidentally pantsing my character

(sorry janine. at least you look cute with this ludicrous dancer glam for )

basically anyone who calls this 'thicc' needs to be sent to some sort of reindoctrination camp for a period of no less than "whatever it takes to remember women are human people made of flesh and blood and not 2d drawings you fucking weeaboo piece of shit"

this botw legend of zelda fic idea has congealed into a proper thing where i need to write an outline but my fucking shoulders are conspiring against me and it hurts to type for more than like 45 sec at a time aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

additional spicy opinions tonight:

if you draw furries but they all mysteriously end up going to smooth around the genital region with no evidence that pubic hair exists or ever has existed (and was shaved/etc), you also a coward with shit taste

note: you are excused if it's a dolphin or some shit but don't be drawing a catgirl with extra fluffy fluffs between her toebeans but MYSTERIOUSLY SMOOTH pubic area as that makes you a Fool and a Knave

p.s. yes that is a reference to the Dot Dot Dot dramatic reading because for some reason "stranth" took up residence in my head (along with "be-a-coo-aze") and has never left youtube.com/watch?v=4Z2Z23SAFV

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also i would just like to make a controversial statement:

bowsette is fine but if it's all "we've inexplicably made this strong, muscular character have pure lily white skin and legs with all the definition of hot dogs when femme'd, despite the original character being a downright bara icon of STRANTH", you a coward with shit taste

if bowsette can't crush heads with her thighs and take you to the gun show, It Ain't Right

here's four things pinned in my channel on discord that i believe form an adequate gestalt summary of my being

i forgot i had this pinned in my channel on a discord server and laughed at it all over again

in which a wigglytuff makes an awful joke using a suicide mention 

listen y'all can't just say stuff like "we should eliminate all cis people" and NOT be over at my house with a shotgun to come take me out behind the shed to Ol' Yeller my chronically-in-pain ass

resolving to become even softer and more delicate under these troubling circumstances

she's then sent, i shit you not, at least 3 - probably more like 5 - friend requests on facebook i have politely denied

i have NO idea why she thinks we're besties.

possibly because we both like sci-fi and fantasy??? but she was such a terrible teacher that my birthday present that year was LITERALLY REFERENCE BOOKS I COULD PULL OUT TO ARGUE WITH HER, and then took them with me to Every Class Thereafter.

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!