Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

just met a sprout with absolute balls of steel who got to 50 and promptly did the entire relic weapon questline. genuinely in awe of them/mildly terrified at their gameplay prowess

i've been in limsa for 2 minutes and already it's a good crop of names today in #ffxiv

so here in unexpected youtube recs, here's a rather nice video from someone talking about makeup that is physically easy to apply, for both beginners and - specifically mentioning! - people who have disabilities https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVoHvj7N05Q&t=1s

might be useful for my fellow #spoonie folks who want to play with makeup!!

*enthusiastically dances a little jig while singing* THE WORST THING 🎵 ABOUT THIS PERIOD 🎵 IS TH CLOTS 🎵 GETTIN' STUCK 🎵 UP IN MY CLIT 🎵

listen, if nintendo don't want me to speculate on just how fish-like zora get in botw up to and including "babe i wanna eat your roe so bad when you drop your eggs after i make you cum so hard", they SHOULD have EXPLAINED more thoroughly at the time!!!

however with the advent of gooigi i'm fairly certain they all know what they're doing. i'm on to you nintendo

no problem it's fine it's just 2am and i'm looking up pictures of extracting salmon roe from a live salmon to explain the previously-written-on-here terrible terrible lewd thing i considered earlier

this is a good and proper thing to do, yes

party hard

"and it's very selfish of me i know but i mean, don't get me wrong, link's cum is tasty as well, but sometimes it really is nice to get a little energy back by eating some roe, you know? it's just a lot, y'know, fattier, instead of more watery, and i know you get more protein with that but for a balanced diet for proper gains -"

"SIDON. SIDON. I LOVE YOU. BUT I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO HOLD THE FUCK UP *SIGNIFICANTLY*"

"wh...h...."

"i don't mean to put too much pressure on you!! i know it's one of those things where sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't, but i know it might be i'm just not doing something correctly, or maybe not making you relaxed enough, or..."

"h.... w...h............."

"zelda are you awake"

"mmh yeah, what's up sidon" "do... i satisfy you?"

"what"

"i mean, like, sexually. you can be honest! i won't get angry about it at all!"

"...s-sidon i mean i would think all the enthusiastic yelling that i've made my stance clear"

"it's just, well, every time we've had sex, you've not dropped ANY roe! and i know we haven't been in a mating pool at all, but still..."

some people????? write several bajillion words on a microblogging site in one disgusting conga line of posts????? to cope????????????

/is this meme dead yet
//what is dead may never die

(prince sidon, standing in front of his girlfriend princess zelda having a screaming mental breakdown, as well as his boyfriend champion link having a screaming mental breakdown of a totally unique and different type) NOTHING TO SEE HERE, PLEASE DISPERSE, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpKmJCLSIQk

anyway that was a whole lot of words i wrote instead of actually outlining the proper BotW fic idea kicking around in my head, so, y'know, it's fine

at this point i may be outlining it in memes

(link voice) since i cannot know for certain when i die, thus when i am going to be in my middle age, i've decided to just have an ongoing crisis

when he walks back to his ship, shore leave done, the company mascot from a billboard looming over him has red-hot eyes.

this time he is not afraid of it in the least.

"will you be our link to this?"

"will you be our Link?"

"Link?"

suddenly he remembers the name he is called in all the dreams. suddenly they all slide into place. suddenly it all aligns in a perfect constellation.

he has done this before. of course he has. so many times. it repeats - rhymes -

there is a princess.

there is a master sword.

there is an evil to be sealed away with the master sword's powers.

...he says yes.

she looks at the master script datastick longingly. "it only responds to certain biometric signatures, or else i would simply take it. but, as it is..." she lets out a small sigh before nailing him in with another hard look.

"there's only a few certain people that have a connection to be able to use this. and there's only a few people who are in the GC military force, close enough to access crucial servers and resources to hack those relays. so..."