Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

also i don't mean to sound prejudiced but also. i kind of do not miss being on an EU server because of the french players.

i know that 99.9% of them are lovely people, and that i never even knew they were french at all because, well, they learned how to say 'hi' in english or used autotranslate or so on. but holy shit some of the worst trolls came from that font of "i will speak only french, i will not use autotranslate, and neither will i do mechanics or in any way know i'm in a social game"

it's been a good bunch of names spotted in the wild in #ffxiv today

(but also WAIT MR. BIGTONK YOU'RE A WHITE MAGE)

alternatively, i'm gonna end up with "3 to 6" new scars - small little ones since this is all done with laparoscopic surgery aka with a bitty camera they fish in there - so send cool tattoo ideas LMAO

oh yeah i should actually post a Somewhat Important Update on mastodon eh

i have a surgery date for them to actually go see what they can see with my shoulder being fucked! (there's a bone spur for them to deal with but they're also going to take a look since MRIs are showing nothing but something's Decidedly FUBAR In There.)

August 6!

please 🐻 with me for the inevitable post-surgery pain-bitching, etc., and if you can spare them, send good thoughts/prayers/etc. that they find n fix something

just met a sprout with absolute balls of steel who got to 50 and promptly did the entire relic weapon questline. genuinely in awe of them/mildly terrified at their gameplay prowess

i've been in limsa for 2 minutes and already it's a good crop of names today in #ffxiv

so here in unexpected youtube recs, here's a rather nice video from someone talking about makeup that is physically easy to apply, for both beginners and - specifically mentioning! - people who have disabilities https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVoHvj7N05Q&t=1s

might be useful for my fellow #spoonie folks who want to play with makeup!!

*enthusiastically dances a little jig while singing* THE WORST THING 🎵 ABOUT THIS PERIOD 🎵 IS TH CLOTS 🎵 GETTIN' STUCK 🎵 UP IN MY CLIT 🎵

listen, if nintendo don't want me to speculate on just how fish-like zora get in botw up to and including "babe i wanna eat your roe so bad when you drop your eggs after i make you cum so hard", they SHOULD have EXPLAINED more thoroughly at the time!!!

however with the advent of gooigi i'm fairly certain they all know what they're doing. i'm on to you nintendo

no problem it's fine it's just 2am and i'm looking up pictures of extracting salmon roe from a live salmon to explain the previously-written-on-here terrible terrible lewd thing i considered earlier

this is a good and proper thing to do, yes

party hard

"and it's very selfish of me i know but i mean, don't get me wrong, link's cum is tasty as well, but sometimes it really is nice to get a little energy back by eating some roe, you know? it's just a lot, y'know, fattier, instead of more watery, and i know you get more protein with that but for a balanced diet for proper gains -"

"SIDON. SIDON. I LOVE YOU. BUT I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO HOLD THE FUCK UP *SIGNIFICANTLY*"

"wh...h...."

"i don't mean to put too much pressure on you!! i know it's one of those things where sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't, but i know it might be i'm just not doing something correctly, or maybe not making you relaxed enough, or..."

"h.... w...h............."

"zelda are you awake"

"mmh yeah, what's up sidon" "do... i satisfy you?"

"what"

"i mean, like, sexually. you can be honest! i won't get angry about it at all!"

"...s-sidon i mean i would think all the enthusiastic yelling that i've made my stance clear"

"it's just, well, every time we've had sex, you've not dropped ANY roe! and i know we haven't been in a mating pool at all, but still..."