Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

Gallant puts his posters up in designated spots for posters to be put up!

Goofus decides to sneak past various security measures to put up fake eviction notices on dorm room doorways, to evoke pathos for his cause, but ONLY on the dorm room doors of students who have mezuzahs (a type of jewish door charm)!

Gallant gives a persuasive presentation about his cause that compellingly offers facts!

Goofus believes shadowy cabals of people with too much money are to blame, and characterizes every Israeli as irredeemably greedy!

Gallant hands out flyers about his cause and respects an answer of "sorry, late to class" of polite refusal!

Goofus calls after somebody about how they are a coward if they refuse and uses pushy used car salesman tactics to trap people into conversation so he can lecture at them!

i swear to god my goy ass is perilously close to writing some Highlights For Children style guides on how not to be an utter fuckwit while advocating for the rights of palestenians because This Just Keeps Happening and It's Bullshit

it's just me remembering academia and pouring this poem all over my face tonight https://blogs.cardiff.ac.uk/rsrc/2019/03/08/i-got-told-what-to-call-this-poem-by-my-male-colleague/

i'm going to wake up tomorrow with a thousand angry replies from people retooting that like i'm actually a competent author and not part of the masses of ao3, but i regret absolutely nothing, this is top dad joke level folks

is that a really fucking stupid joke?

YES

am i going tell it still?

ALSO YES

guess who's a hugo award nominee now :^) https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/vbw9eb/internet-fan-fiction-archive-ao3-hugo-award

my dog has become increasingly terrified of ding or chime noises in the last few months, and my parents don't want to change their text message received noises, so every time they get a text my dog gets scared ><

i'm trying to figure out how to train around this but... when she's scared, she also doesn't want to eat treats

today's crackpot theory:

darth vader's father is actually the stig from top gear

evidence:

1. want go fast
2. good at go fast
3. die if you take helmet off
4. not so good at people-ing
5. but very very very good at go fast

"harp that joke was a bit of a stretch" i stand by it.

jesus christ when did it get to be 3:30 am!!!!!!!! fuck

GOODNIGHT FEDIVERSE

seriously though, the formula of the essence superlast liquid eyeliner is fantastic. 4 bucks, liquid eyeliner, black as night, will not fucking budge, your skeleton will be found with eyeliner still long 200 years after we die in a fallout-style nuclear apocalypse etc etc,

but the applicator!!!!!!!!

is just!!!!

this NOODLE!!!!!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT AT FUCKING ALL AND IT DRIVES ME MAD

eventually it would be baller to use to coat my vampstamp but like. no

why noodle

terrible picture but i actually!!! cleaned up my bathroom counter today!!!!!! my makeup isn't just in ONE GIANT PILE IN A BASKET but i actually have it in.. drawers and shit...!! AND my new brush set came today! so i'll be able to replace my ten-year-old e.l.f. brushes lmao