Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

"harp, did you just delete and redraft that just to shove your nonsense in a tag?"

.... yea

yes, i am, truly, back on my bullshit, having written now two more The Secret World/Secret World Legends style lore entries for #ffxiv characters - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SASpPpX65A--A1olxd6siy40YYd7ce18FTUSXYUFZk4/edit?usp=sharing

also shoutout to google's spellcheck helping me correct miqo'te and ala mhigo, good on you for that though i'm slightly confused how y'all got that in the dictionary

also, as i am writing yet more "profiles for my ffxiv characters written as if they are lore entries from the secret world", i think this officially qualifies as being Back On My Bullshit

me, having no inclination or feelings towards jacklyn hill whatsoever at the beginning of all this, nor any desire to buy any of her products, not having watched any of her videos, yet, nonetheless, enjoying the videos coming out detailing the pandora's box of horrors her lipsticks apparently are:

crucial features i would like in botw2:

-you can just go have a chat with the dragons instead of shooting at them and it's a nice lovely time

-PET DOG BUTTON

anyway

at least i have potato chips

"consequences for political action is definitely fake. i've never had a consequence in my life, after all!" - basically every cishet middle-upper-class white dude who seems to be a programmer of some stripe on mastodon, honestly

egregious bad selfie time

i look a bit of a fright because this is after going out and i only remembered OH RIGHT I WANTED TO TAKE A PICTURE until i changed into my pjs

however

t-rex necklace

t-rexlace

(cw for eye contact)

finally did something other than faff around in botw and urbosa is... absolutely the best team mom

she's gonna be there after i defeat ganon with orange slices and capri suns

this is the whole setup of botw2, incidentally. shit goes down 'cos she makes link go and give the loser a high-five because it's Good Sportsmanship

hello #ffxiv tag, please have this

[ignis voice] *snaps fingers* that's it! i've come up with a new mspaint abomination!

"what tusky is doing to gab users is morally wrong and against the spirit of open source software because -"

hhhHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA

yeah that's gonna be a preemptive block from me right there buddy

i was trying to do a "sans undertale" style joke, but i realize now when i call him Mr. Link Zelda it just makes it sound like he took zelda's last name when they got married except zelda only has one name so they were just like "oh tack it on anyway, good enough" and/or Princess is her first name and Zelda is her last name

note: there can be an episode where batman gets a hint that they're where they are and comes on down to try and find them

however

this will be played completely for comedy as batgirl, robin, wonder woman, superman, etc. all totally see Harley and Ivy and all react with "y'all are doing good shit actually, we're going to keep fucking mum even if this means some very silly LOOK-A-THREE-HEADED-MONKEY behavior so we can keep batman from seeing you"

bonus: this opens up for a TV show pilot of Harley and Ivy in the rainforest, with the villains-of-the-week being various flavors of people coming to clear-cut the forest for various reasons etc., so kind of like captain planet but is now vengeful lesbians

Harley is able to sit down and help with the mental troubles of the nearby town dealing with the effects of being part of that system, Ivy helps regrow the forest, they both take care to learn and respect the traditions/people already there

bonus: after-credits scene cuts to Wonder Woman taking a stroll in around the amazon in a city or something

totally spots Harley and Ivy

they sweat nervously as she walks over cheerfully and they are very much in "fuck we're in trouble" mode

instead wonder woman "introduces" herself because "clearly ;) we've never met ;) before ;)", and is very obviously going "y'all are doing good work here. i ain't gonna fuck it up. if batman asks i met some nice researchers. y'all have fun now"