For some reason, I feel a need to Be Aware of everything happening in the house. I cannot make myself drown out conversations and noises. If people are talking and I cannot hear them, I *must* quiet myself down to know what they're saying. This is either a superpower or some Pavlovian behavior.
Which is why The Dread sets in, heavily, when the only thing I can hear from 3 rooms over is the sound of packing tape, occasional banging, and Mom yelling "Fine, be that way!"
like, oh fuck, what did I miss, how badly am I gonna need to tiptoe for the next several hours before my internal Alert Phase calms down, possibly several *more* hours before I stop reflexively flinching at any noise louder than a keystroke
in case I've ever given anybody a false impression of Unflapping Confidence, I assure you that I am, in fact, a social coward.
