Design Thinking about sexuality in communities
Re the current discussions about making friends in communities where open sexuality is common, I'm thinking about how we can do better with tools and values about communication.
So, I have a question for folks, especially those who feel they're not well-served in these communities currently:
What do YOU, personally, want others to know about your needs, regarding sexuality or lack thereof?
(Answers in DMs okay!)
Design Thinking about sexuality in communities | Ramble 1/3
@indi (talking online rp stuff only atm, otherwise: ??????) Whatever use this is to you, or whether you're still looking for input like this, here goes:
I don't know?
I don't really know what they'd want to know.
I'm waiting for others to make a suitable opening for me to hint about it, in the same sense that I wait for similar openings before talking or joking about most things. That seems to be how this place works most of the time.
Design Thinking about sexuality in communities | Ramble 3/3
@indi This is probably already self-evident, since I'm not really describing "what I want them to know" and trying to read for acceptable answer instead- so I'll try again maybe:
-I'm probably open to pretty much anything?
-I don't mind a lot of stuff anyway.
-I have no idea how any of this works.
-I'm interested to try, but I'd probably disappoint you.
-I don't know.
I think I'm forgetting bits, but like I said: I don't know
Design Thinking about sexuality in communities | Ramble 3/3
@BatElite This is actually all really helpful to hear, and thank you very much for sharing it. It sounds like what you're saying here is how starting the conversation is one of the hardest parts, which seems to be something a lot of folks feel, but often in very different ways. One thing I really want to do is just try to make that step easier.
Thank you, again, for all this. :)
Design Thinking about sexuality in communities | Ramble 3/3
@indi Yes. I might be an extreme case, since I've managed to have have second thoughts about wishing someone happy birthday (a stranger, admittedly) - let alone sexual things. :P
Is there something you had in mind for this? From the way it's set up it's not directly addressed to people I interact with. I suppose I could refer them to this, and I have it saved in notepad (to help with splitting it in 3 posts) for the time being.
Design Thinking about sexuality in communities | Ramble 2/3
@indi The opportunity hasn't presented itself more than twice so far, nothing of note has come out of it so far. I wouldn't mind people approaching me in this sort of manner, probably? I've been reluctant in trying to establish anything myself, not knowing others' boundaries and all that.
I think if I were to try something in this manner, I suspect I'd be much more occupied with making the other person(s) happy than myself.